“It takes time. Aye………..it certainly does.”
“And what’s that, then ?”
“Oh – you know”.
Lots of things. Loads of things, even. Waiting for Christmas……for paint to dry…..…for yeast to rise when you’re making bread…… for a cake to cook…….. time to gather together the ingredients for a risotto…….. or for a soufflé, come to that.
And time for the bereavement process to lumber along……….
ChickPea thought she’d finished blogging the other night. Guess she had, kindof. Had finally published that post that Started Before, But Wouldn’t Finish…….( it just wasn’t cooked – somehow it wasn’t ‘complete’…… but HOW to finish it ? – What else did it need ? ………. so it sat, and festered ……… ok, ok – it MATURED)………..
And then, earlier that night, there came an almighty kick to the buttparts, and ChickPea realized that A Most Significant Post had not yet been written. Time had slipped by. And For Life To Be OK, It Needed To Be Written……… but ….. How On Earth Would It Start ?
I’m sure you’ve been there …… writing a book…..a postcard……. a sermon…… a letter……a blog post….…. The Wish is there, but The Muse hides in a cupboard somewhere……..(presumably a-mused)…..
And suddenly, Light Dawns…. (the chooks start muttering to themselves = the clockwork brain starts to move )…. and Then You Realize It’s Already There….. And Waiting….. Biding Its Time..… Waiting Till The Time Is Right……
And when that time has finally arrived, it can happen that the words just appear on the screen, and it all makes sense somehow – and if it’s not exactly right immediately, you kinda know which re-wording is The One To Keep…..
So ChickPea wuz kinda chuffed that Things Had Fallen Into Place. And, moreover, apparently, into an appropriate – even ‘right’ – place. Peace had been made. Life was ok. TH was in bed with his bug, and some NightNurse (no – not plural….) ….and was hopefully asleep….. At Last…….and hopefully thru till morning this time.
Then ChickPea took Mr Mutt out for his Late Night Constitutional. Whereupon another cupboard door opened, and out crept ‘Bereavemment’ in his best finery. Well, second-best finery. (‘Thankfully’ was right behind him, and distracted him a little, allowing ChickPea space ). Nonetheless, the two of them dogged her footsteps. And the bright bubble aftermath of blogging Was No More…….
To outwit The Descending Cloud, ChickPea Pondered……
Bereavement cannot, after all, be (successfully) outrun, out-manoeuvred or otherwise evaded. If you get a headstart, it will still catch you up. If you are very quick on your feet, you may think you’ve won….. but it still catches you up………eventually. Probably At An Inopportune Moment. If you grab it by the lapels and make it sit down, thinking that at least you know where it is, it will get up and Take You By Surprise when you least expect it…...
No, the only REAL, effective way is to accept it into your life for the time it takes, accept it as a guest, hopefully bringing some good memories but accepting the myriad tears and regrets and sadness………
No, you cannot evade Bereavement……… so allow it in, give it a cup of tea and a piece of cake, sit down with it, if you can, when you can, and accept the visit……
