Four chooks a-layin'.........

The Fourth Day of Christmas (Well, near as). There was my True Love, shivering in the cold and clutching 4 eggs !

Yup. All four of our little darlings are now laying, wee ‘Moe’ having succumbed to the Hormone Blitz just a few days before Christmas. So with a rising ‘Egg Mountain’, TH pulled on his swimming trunks and set off to surf the world wide web and seek a recipe to deal with the situation. Result ? ‘Pickled Eggs’ joined the outgoing presents list.

And now, on the Fifth Day of Christmas – Myna seems to have gone broody…………..

.........................Any suggestions of how to help a broody chook get over her impossible dream ?

Oh yes - and have a Happy Hogmanay !

Wow ! - Thanks for the champagne !

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

Bestest Christmas Greetings to you ! So kind of you to visit. Apologies. Things have been a bit quiet here in the electronic kitchen, the soufflé deflated and the hens scoffed the risotto……….

Largely because ChickPea was ironing cassocks and surplices in readiness for the Cathedral Carol Service, trying to do the Seasonal Things and usual chores (failing dismally in achieving the impossible) ………and frantically …… desperately…… sending off job applications………. until, with the end of the Jobseekers Allowance getting ever and ever closer, she decided to change strategy, and just try to get SOME hours doing ANYTHING……..

And…….

AND……… YES ! A great Christmas present was landing 15 hours part time work from 5th January – wheeeeeeee !

So, yup, she’s away to school again ! 3.30pm till 6.30pm, Monday to Friday, wielding a mop or similar and ensuring the educational premises are of A Standard. This will not only ease financial fears but will assist General Fitness, boost the flagging morale and allow return to a more appropriate ‘long term’ jobseeking strategy. All good things at the start of a new year.

So – FANTASTICALLY - a Very Merry Christmas Indeed !

Here’s hoping things are ok with you, that Christmas has been a Fine Time, that Hogmanay and New Year’s Day will be even better, and wishing you good times and great companions throughout 2009.

SUMMING UP

MINUS: Well, the waiting finished today. Neither job landed.

PLUS: ChickPea completed her first ‘European Computer Driving Licence’ module
today; exam completed and passed. Next two modules ready to start.

EQUALS: No excuse for being bored this Christmas !

Sunshine

ChickPea was out early with Mr Mutt this morning, determined to give him a decent walk after two days of ‘other demands’. Mr Mutt’d missed out because of ChickPea having two more interviews………. More anon.

Most important - give Mr Mutt some time and space today. It was light, but cold – some frost, some slippy areas. They’d just left TH at his workplace, there was loads of car parking space along the Kelvin Way, so Kelvingrove Park it was. Mr Mutt was very pleased. They’d not been there for over a week. And not seen Mr Heron for over a month – and there, as the sun crept through the nearly-bare bones of the winter trees, was Mr Heron. Up to his knees in the cold river as ChickPea and Mr Mutt strode along the path (well - nearly strode - there was still slipperiness). Breakfast was slow in arriving for Mr Heron this morning. It was good to see him – just about ten feet away, quite unconcerned to be observed (“as long as you’re quiet – please don’t scare the fish…….”). A pal has been watching him higher up the river recently, so we knew he was still around – but it was still good to see him. If only Chickpea had had the camera along this morning ! Mr Heron caught them up again ten minutes later as they went past the frozen duck pond – he’d decided to take a break from the river, and was high up in one of the trees. ChickPea had never seen a heron in a tree before, but he was clearly perfectly satisfied with his vantage point.

Oh yes – the interviews. Well, one was for a post applied for over six weeks ago, which she’d almost lost hope of ever hearing about. The other had been a ‘next day response’ to receiving an agency’s version of her CV (which ChickPea’d not seen before it went in……. CV had become basically inaccurate through their ‘tweaking’, giving rise to ‘personal integrity’ issues…..)

But both interviews were extremely good experiences (assuming ‘good’ and ‘interview’ can ever be linked !). Both very different, but each conducted in a highly professional and most competent manner and very positively handled to get the best they could out of their candidate. So ChickPea feels confident that the end result will be both fair – and the best for the jobs concerned. Successful for ChickPea ? Time will tell. Maybe both will identify a better candidate to fill their requirement. Either way, Chickpea felt kind of ‘honoured’ to observe such interviewing expertise in action, and apart from chattering on like a budgie (not particularly typical for her) and not managing to say much of what she’d prepared and hoped to include….. she was fairly satisfied with her performance (throw her a fish someone !).

Now is the wait…….. Either job would be fun; each very different and requiring very different approaches and activities. One supporting the function of Strathclyde’s Finest; one assisting the community aspects of tower block demolition (!) One easier to get to, probably (she forgot to ask) with more training, much more structure, significantly better prospects overall, and better paid. The other much more demanding on travel, less pay, ‘quirky’ in context and allowing (maybe) more personal interpretation of the role. Both hoping to get the successful candidate launched into the post in January………..

Now is the wait.

You’d think it was Advent, or something……………

Livin' an' Lernin'

ChickPea’s havin’ a nite in tonite. All Alone. TH had to go away to a conference. HAD to get by without his Trubble n Strife. (or did he mean ‘had to get away from’…..?) Anyway. Poor Love. Up before 7am, and a long long drive (with his boss). Miles away into the far blue yonder. Back of Beyond. Far far away (St Andrews). Poor thing. He’s having to ‘make do’………… with the hospitality of ‘The Auld Course’……….HUGE bedroom. Many-course supper. And booze. Don’t you just weep for him ? !!!

Anyway……….

Telly’s on. And she’s getting some edukayshun…….. Wot’s this ?

Presented Physiological fact: Female body has…. WOT ! …… LESS water than yon male ? An’ THAT’s why she’s not allowed as many units of alcohol as his nibs, ‘cos HE – being more water, dilutes his intake more efficiently……….

HA ! So much for ‘equality’, eh.

Just as ChickPea thought. All that ‘politically correct’ stuff about ‘gender’ and ‘God’ becomes significantly more suspect….. such a dire and fundamental (here meaning ‘basic’) unfair inequality MUST prove ‘God’ to be male………..

The Big Dipper

Yup. ‘Life’. Roulette Wheel. Or Rollercoaster without much fun. ChickPea wishes apologies expressed as her blogging has been somewhat neglected of late. Too much of the ‘Rain’ stuff, too many job applications, much too little positive affirmation, and no interviews………..

Sunday was a bit of a rollercoaster – big service a.m. to celebrate the end of the Church Year with ‘Christ the King’ as the Front Page Headline. Then the AGM. (Happened. No bloodshed. No Public Floggings. Not exactly ‘fun’ – but it was an AGM after all…… ). Then ChickPea was off to an exam….. a kind of ‘first interview’ with the DWP (Dept of Work & Pensions…….)……Don’t think she’d gotten around to telling you about this one……

ChickPea hates – but HATES and LOATHES ‘maths’…… maybe somehow related to her ‘Class 4’ primary teacher who got locked up for child abuse a few years later. She doesn’t remember much of that year or class. Except that THAT was when maths became really scary. Like terrifying. And ‘tables’ became taboo. Suffice to say that ‘maths is not her favourite activity’. So she has been avoiding maths. She knows she CAN do it, especially when it is necessary, and there’s a reason for it, and, let’s be honest, most jobs need a bit, but that she can handle ok. But she doesn’t like having to prove it. So if ‘financial’ or similar appears in the advert, ChickPea….er….sidesteps.

But about 2 weeks ago was the ‘3 months’ Unemployed Point/ Jobcentre Interview’……. I guess it was fairly gentle really. More gentle than ChickPea expected. But her current allowance (which stops in January anyway, as assessed on her 2006 contributions…….. yup, despite 28 years continuous fulltime working and full contributions, 2006 was when she stopped after 6 months to care for DJ……..) – said allowance can be stopped early if The Interviewer thought she’s not ‘all out’ to get a job……… so when she was……um……’encouraged’ to apply for a DWP vacancy, ‘choice’ was not really a relevant word………..

Anyway…….. let’s gloss over Sunday afternoon, noting that failing an exam juggling with numbers, several charts and percentages – despite working as conscientiously, honestly and as carefully as possible, but still only getting through eleven of the twenty questions in the Time Allowed – was not an Affirming Life Experience for ChickPea……… quite the opposite. Empty and Demoralized, yes. To spend precious time in a such a No Win Situation was frustrating. (If she failed, it was a bummer for the self-confidence and morale. If she succeeded, she might get a job, but maths would be an ever-present requirement…… To deliberately Flunk Out would destroy any Personal Integrity…….).

Anyway, Integrity and Honesty Triumphed, but Failure Won. Congratulations ChickPea !

A wet and cold walk back to a preferred/warm/welcoming/newspapered environment for an extravagant G & T (nothing like a place and staff you know well when you have to say, “ok, what’s cheapest, a glass of wine or a G&T ?” !!) and a chilling-out moment with a sparse tear or two.

So, ChickPea was most grateful for the distractions of pre-service ceilidh preparations, a humdinger of an evensong (despite our rend ition of Stanford’s Canticles in E flat….. a new foray into the …..er…… realms of the unknown region…….) for the Bishop’s Celebrations, and then high jiggers in the aisles to round off the day. Even Fun looked in to join the party. Wow. Some day.

But more was to follow. ChickPea had made a phonecall on Friday in response to a local job advert found via the jobcentre on Friday. A lovely receptionist took her name, and said there’d be a followup phonecall on Monday or Tuesday. And on Monday/yesterday there was a phonecall – about a job THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY ! - and an invite to interview on Wednesday / TOMORROW ! No application form, no CV…….. no job description !!! (MOST bizarre ! – but watch this space ! “A job’s a job for a’ that” to make a mis-quote…….)

Wellies' Weather

Whether we want or not, Wellies’ Weather is once more upon us……. Well, ok – you’re right, as usual. Such weather never quite left, did it. Maybe sat down and took a nap for a day or two, but remains with us nonetheless.

The dry hours of yesterday allowed TH and ChickPea to re-do the chooks’ roof and thoroughly renew their (the hens’, that is) carpet of bark chippings, so they now have dry feet again (and if the roof re-do works, this will continue….). Today the chooks are busy digging thru the pile to lay the carpet in a satisfactory fashion for today’s fashion-conscious hens………..

Meantime, Mr Mutt, having been out for his morning paddle, is running free in sunshine in the Land of Nod……..

ChickPea is girding up the lions – sorry, loins - to do ironing. (Lions don’t like ironing, girdles or not). The novelty of job applications is a little thin today, so the steam iron is heating up, the next batch of washing is doing (wonders and miracles of modern technology), and the clean-but-not-yet-ironed-surplices-for-next-sunday-fun is waiting, along with R4 and the SAD light……

The Other will still be ready and waiting tomorrow……. and maybe, just maybe, (Hope Living Eternal an’ a’ that, tho mostly at a different address) The Postie will call by with good news before then……..

And next Funday we have the Scottish Primus celebrating 40 years since his ordination, and 10 years as Bishop. A Choral Evensong Event, to be followed by a ceilidh. Fancy joining us ?

Just a Moment........

What a moment that was for Mr Mutt yesterday. Pity it didn’t prevent the moment that happened later, when he tried to bite The Hand That Feeds Him. It was a very near miss – no blood flowed – but previous trust was shaken to the core, and all in all, a great disappointment overwhelmed us. We thought we were moving forward, but THAT moment raised the old spectres again.

Life is full of moments. And maybe, when we get to the end of it, we will look back and feel a whole lifetime is but A Moment. It only took a moment to sign up for the many who lost their lives in the world-and-subsequent-wars. And for those who Gave Most And Got Little Thanks. And but a Moment for a Life To Pass On.

This is Remembrance Day, and I am so sad that now so many of Those Who Survived have gone, NOW the media is screening so very very many programmes about the conflicts…old film footage……. insights and revelations of mishap and mayhem….…. So much that could have helped Those Who Have Now Gone to find a point of inner resolution, of personal forgiveness, of peace. So many must have been like my Dad, unable to speak of most of their experiences of The Conflict - perhaps fearful of recrimination or condemnation from the generation who followed who had so much in consequence, but understood so little – and who could understand even less when so much was contained, withheld, bottled up. And now it is too late to offer consolation, to offer Love and Understanding. But never too late to gain understanding...........

It was good to Share The Sacrament of Silence of those sacred minutes on Sunday. For A Sacrament Silence Is (or can be). Unnamed as such by The Church maybe, but Sacrament nonetheless. Good that the church now again accepts and embraces the mysticism and ‘magic’ of silence within liturgy. Our services had got very ‘busy’. In trying to be relevant to our daily lives, services not only reflected but became that very same busyness……. And forgot To Reflect. But now we are again given the sacraments of space and silence – and of Refection - and this is good.

ChickPea tried for those moments of silence again today – but as waiting for a jobseeking-related appointment kind of intervened, the moment passed. In her early schooldays she recalls that life would stop for those minutes – traffic would stop, radio would cease, a local bell - or a foghorn, or similar local loud noise – would signal start and finish of the Time for Silence. The Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Day of the Eleventh Month……….

Many moments have passed. Many more will happen – are happening even now. Good Things, Bad Things. Good – even Best of – Times, and Worst of Times. Some happen Somewhere Else. Some happen to us. Some we share. Some we will never ever be aware of, even when they happened right next to us or around us. Some Moments we have caused to happen, and some we did not prevent, or make recompense for…………Some Good Moments we withheld.

“Just a Moment” ChickPea’s Mum was reported to say, as she passed on. No warning. No time to say more. A while ago now, and many moments have happened along the way since then. Each precious. So precious. Most unmarked, unnoticed. Yet special, and very precious – especially those very mundane or ‘normal’ moments that allow us to breathe, relax, rest, recouperate. Sacredness of the Present Moment.

Take a Moment. Share a Moment. Give a Moment. Even "Just" a Moment. For you.

Running in front of the wind

Mr Mutt and ChickPea were out in the local park this morning, it being that time of the day and Mr Mutt requiring his constitutional. Light levels were dull, very dull. The clouds were low. ‘Overcast’ and ‘blustery’ were words that might describe the weather. Mr Mutt’s eyes were shining, and he was clearly looking for an excuse (or an order) to run. “I’m a sheepdog”, he seemed to be saying “I need to run”.

This is perhaps the first time he has been so open and direct with ChickPea – up until now it has been the apologetic sideways look, with a certain reluctance to go anywhere other than firmly (hmmmmnn......, ‘doggedly’ might be more accurate) by the side. Occasionally a certain, “I suppose I could go over there a bit if you really don’t want me”. Or the opposite - a rather bolshy attitude of doing his own thing regardless (“who do you think you are – I don’t need you”). But rarely this near-Happy, apparently Relaxed and Getting On With Life ‘Cos It’s OK. Freedom. Not yet the sort of ‘joyous’ that ChickPea associates with a settled and happy dog. But much, much closer than we’ve seen since he came to live with us in September 2006. Now 26 months ago.

It’s all progress. It is good. Sunshine would have been wonderful – but was not to be then. But now – ah, yes – NOW there is a hint of sunlight creeping through the clouds. (Perhaps going out for the shopping will be next on ChickPea’s Agenda).

And Mr Mutt ? Tired, shining eyes, happy smile, wet, muddy and flopped out in the kitchen.

Yes. Mr Mutt ran……and ran………and ran………….and…….ran.

Re-View

Lots happening. Rowan Williams. Sunshine. All Saints. All Souls. ‘Thin stuff’. Chewy stuff. Ingredients for The Kitchen. Much of it currently half-baked. Still cooking. And yes, there’s probably currants in the mixture as well. And a chicken or two……….

Tired........

Very tired tonight. Another interview today – not a post that ChickPea wanted to go for, but the Powers That Be (and that can influence The Allowance) were very very keen (well insistent, really) that her CV go in for this one. She feared repercussions if she refused…… (And a bit dischuffed - after all, an average of an interview a month doesn’t seem too bad over these past 3.5 months since Unemployment moved in. And 18 applications submitted over the 14 weeks as well. OK – no room for complacency, but not really needing the sort of kick up the wotsit and compromise of personal integrity that this has all felt like. . ….. )

So they put it in (was due in when Jury Duty was happening, was found just about the day before and she really had no opportunity to do it by the deadline).

Herself was not keen for an interview for a job she doesn’t feel suited for .... and, guess what ? (Ha ! But of course ! )

So – re-jig the brain: decide to be pleased to have got to interview ….. and commit to it…..determine to give it a best shot and be as honest to self as possible……

(but what if offered ? – go with the flow - a job is a job, after all, and pennies ........engage with dilemmas over that if it ever happens)…….

Trouble is, all the other applications ARE, in fact, jobs she’d really like and want to commit to……….

Anyway. So what happened ? Interviewers at the end of their afternoon who seemed to think it was all a bit of a joke, really…… (we all waited and expressed concern while the interviewer couldn’t read her questions and fussed about her contact lenses)…….. And despite best shot, ChickPea didn’t really feel she’d got a clear sight of the target, so it all came out rather woolly, really. Disappointing feeling. Didn’t feel like ‘her best’. Never mind. Maybe it means future engagement with this one won’t have to happen…. Expect to hear by the end of next week……. With a second stage scheduled for mid-November for successes from today…….. (So time for other things to show up in the interim…….)

But see the amount of energy this has consumed in preparation, not sleeping and not getting other things done…….

Not the best start to the evening. No matter. If she ever wondered why she Cathedral Sings, ChickPea knew something of ‘why’ tonight. Not the most inspiring of repertoire either, nor the greatest of rehearsals, and most of us seemed somewhat jaded. But there was still That Something that carried her through the evening to an OK place.

And tomorrow……… what tomorrow ? There’s a few possible jobs left from the last search……. and the requirement to scour the newspapers at the local library and computer search again at the jobcentre….. so let’s see if she can get another application in before the weekend………..

Caring for the carers......

ChickPea, TH, Ms Mog, Mr Mutt and Myna and Moe got back to the big city last night, in the same rain that loads of other people were getting too. Myna and Moe, two more very beautiful hens to bring our wee flock to four, had only just joined the family during the afternoon, but the rest of the gang had spent a few days in Dumfriesshire, at a fabulous cottage surrounded by sheep, where you can see the local beach and sea from bedroom, conservatory and bathroom, and where ‘dark’ at night really does mean ‘dark’. A few days with including enough wind to blow away most cobwebs, enough rain to wash away accumulated dust, enough sunshine (YES – REALLY !) to lift the spirits aloft to fly with the local red kites, and enough sleep to allow both Rest and Recuperation to join the party. Yes, a few very good days, thank you.

The process continues.......

Bereavement and grieving being the process in question. You think you’re doing well, and have moved on to the next chapter of your life – and something grabs you by the ankle and suddenly you feel crumpled in a heap like so many autumn leaves.

Life in the ChickPea household rumbles on, and you would think DJ both gone and forgotten……… But the dreams prove otherwise. Last night was a case in point. One of those dreams which is so so vivid you can hardly believe you have awoken when you do awake. So real.

ChickPea dreamt she’d woken, got up, gone down the road to the regular Thursday morning Eucharist. Dreamt she got there surprisingly early (ChickPea doesn’t do ‘Early’ !) – so met up with TH for a coffee – all in astonishing technicolour and 3-D – in fact, absolutely all the normal detail and sensations of everyday life – then she suddenly realized she couldn’t remember where DJ was – why wasn’t he along too for the service ? – she then realized she couldn’t remember getting him up for the day, or even giving him his breakfast – he would be hungry, and upset, and alone and still in his bed - in fact, couldn’t remember where he was sleeping – knew his bed at home had not been slept in for days, but he wasn’t in a residential home either – so where on earth was he – was he on his own at home ? - what had she done with him ? – where and why had she left him abandoned ? - where to look for him even ? - (she did have a feeling he wouldn't be at home, but it seemed the best place to start looking) - so she tore off home in a great panic, distressed and angry with herself because she had been so totally thoughtless and devoid of normal care and consideration, and completely unable to speak to even TH about it as she dashed away……… and it was all just a dream…….. but so so real………

Strange, isn’t it.

Well - another Wednesday

ChickPea had hoped that she’d be more adept at re-wording the CV by now. But no – has taken all morning again today, just like Monday. There again, I guess she’d hoped to have solved the unemployment hole in her life by now so’s CV-manipulation would no longer be necessary……. And headaches aren’t helping. (They recede at times, so I doubt if it’s anything other than rather horrid).

So here we are. Unsuccessful outcome to last week’s interview. (Thank you for your kind enquiry Fr K). Nothing further from the other two applications that were submitted at the same time.

SIX more applications submitted so far this week – 2 by the kind person at the jobseeker support place (cos I was unavailable yesterday at the critical moment to further re-jig the layout and submit), another 2 sent off last night at some unseemly hour (and wondering why ChickPea has a headache, eh…), and a further 2 today…….. This now brings her to a grand total of sixteen applications over the 14 weeks of Jobseeking, so a current average of just over 1/week (lucky ChickPea is not applying for accountancy-type jobs, eh !!). As she’s away Monday-Friday next week, and avoids doing job applications at a w/e if she can, this average is unlikely to stay at such a giddy height……. But maybe still a few more ‘possibles’ to get to grips with before she goes away on Monday………

Currently needing to clear the head, scoff some supper, polish the determination and aim to get to bed at a sensible hour………. ironing, washing up, hoovering and tidying will just have to wait a bit longer. (And no – ChickPea doesn’t do ‘dusting’………)

Life is all tangled up with ‘Jury Duty’ this week – ChickPea phoned last Friday and found she was not required for Monday ( Yay !), hence working on CVs for submission on closing date of Tuesday. But the phonecall Monday night confirmed the trek to the High Court was required on Tuesday (hence non-availability for final re-jigging of CVs and submission – thanks again to Kind Person). Finally got home just after midday, not selected. (Again)

Curious, isn’t it, how these things bombard your psyche. The great relief of not having to Do The Public Duty after all, and not have to wrestle with the sordid details of alleged incidents that should never have happened had there been appropriate respect and consideration. And THEN, unaccountably, the ridiculous sideswipe of “they don’t want me either”…….. chain up the lions and gird up the loins………..

Last Saturday, the chooks’ accommodation was re-arranged to provide better wintering quarters (no more paddling across a flooded lawn to shut their door at night ! – no, now they can be reached from the house !!!!). They appear content with the changes – certainly there wasn’t the hullabaloo on Monday morning that occurred Sunday when they confronted the day and found their world had changed dramatically. (This was a pity, because the folks upstairs consequently overslept on Monday………….). But tonight – Wednesday – it feels like we’ll get a frost, so the chookies have been shut in for the night, hoping the two of them’ll be a bit warmer. They huddle together to sleep, all very endearing, but probably still a bit chilly in the rather larger than necessary house. (But better for our backs…… yes, the final decision re ‘whch one’ was all down to design considerations). Hoping to get another two chooks on the way home from hols next week (no – we haven’t told the neighbours !) – four of them together should be warmer.

Meantime, Autumn has happened over the last 2 days of rain. ChickPea had been hoping to take sequential photos of the staggering changes of leaf hue when out with Mr Mutt each morning……. but her photographic abilities do not stretch to keeping a camera dry if out in a monsoon. And the vast majority of the leaves are now down. Winter approaches.

National Poetry Day 2008

Now here’s a thing - and A Very Fine Thing too. National Poetry Day.

Read a poem. Recite a poem. Write a poem. Send a poem. Share a poem with the person on the bus next to you.

Try a look at Best Scottish Poems 2007 at http://www.spl.org.uk/best-poems/007.htm

Go on – I dare you ! Find a poem that speaks to you, and ENJOY !

(Brought to ChickPea’s attention by The Hubby hisself. A poem in her email to greet her return home after The Interview. Romance Incarnate. Now isn’t that A Very Very Fine Thing Indeed).

A Rollercoaster of a day......

ChickPea and Mr Mutt were awaiting TH’s emergence from his place of employment this afternoon, so to pass the time (and because she’s only just discovered this unexpected aspect/resultant requirement of her mobile phone), ChickPea was ‘deleting sent messages’ ……… months’ and months’ and months’ worth………so there was heaps of stuff relating to DJ. Fairly ‘tame stuff’ maybe, but it was still unexpected, and more of a shock than anticipated.

Bereavement is like that, isn’t it. Just when you think you’re moving on, something grabs you by the ankle.

There’s a lot of this kind of stuff around in ChickPea’s day to day life at the moment, not least because her own Dad was dying slowly in the extreme south of England at the same time that DJ was moving into residence with her and TH in Scotland. So ‘Dad loss’ has been a compound experience spanning somewhat more than these five or so years. And I guess there’ll be yet more to reach the surface – as it does, and as it must.

Meantime, a very dear pal is living thru the heartache of losing a beloved pet who has been close friend and companion, and supported both heart and sanity thru recent divorce. Initial survival of pet was precarious about ten days back – apparent progress seemed to offer hope, and got pet home and seeming recovering – but now the blood tests show a hopeless outcome just a few days away. As Ms Mog is almost nineteen, and slowly but steadily fading away (tho still appears content, enjoying her food and occupying most of the bed all day - and much of it all night), ChickPea and TH feel very very aware of pal’s sadness.

And then, this evening, surprise, surprise – invitation to an ‘initial interview’ ! On Thursday. Yes – just three days’ time! Hardly time to draw breath. After recent knockbacks and several non-replies, one of the Jobseeking efforts of last week is daring look at ChickPea in the flesh ! Cor. Gosh…….. (panic)

Now, the chances of her getting to the next step may be most unlikely – and much as she had been thinking of part time hours, “five-going-on-fifty-something” is kinda young for green fields and horseplay – and maybe a change of direction into a satisfying employment course will need not only personal commitment but time dedicated to achieving change…….. At the very very least, another interview will be another most useful experience, and even just getting invited to interview is dead good for the morale, and … who knows what the future may hold ? She’s been saying she wants “to do something different”, and has been doing ‘head level’ reinventions of herself after all, and ambitious job applications ……. so will this chicken come home to roost ? ………..

Thru the window at 4pm today.........

Autumn is definitely upon us..........

Yup. You don’t need to be a working mum to notice the flying by of the time, nice clock or no nice clock. The colours of autumn are encroaching, so enjoy them while you can ………. ChickPea was out in Kelvingrove Park again yesterday with her box brownie (well – a descendent of her BB), and all being well we’ll see some autumnal flavours getting into the Risotto over the next few days…….

Meantime, let’s see what’s been happening to fluff up the soufflé……. ( and we’ll just forget all about PK’s take on ‘fluffing’, won’t we…….)

ChickPea has been vigorously jobhunting of late. Various returns not wishing to employ her talents notwithstanding. Luckily, enough combined SAD light exposure and sunshine by-the-by to rouse her wilting spirits, and to fire up both The Imagination and The Latent Blagger Within……. Whoo hoo ! ….. So the most unlikely of job adverts have been viewed with decreasing suspicion, the CV turned inside out, with a nip here, a tuck there, a few more stitches and a modicum of embroidery……. I tell you – if all it took was Positive Thinking, she’d be running the world by now….. but…….

So there’s now another 3 applications in during this week… (quite enough to handle for just now - tho’ she picked up more possibilities at the Jobcentre this morning, so will doubtless peruse the potential therein before hanging her Blagging Boots up for the weekend……) …….. and I do believe the sunshine is out to play, the chooks are only up to their ankles in mud, Ms Mog is sleeping the sleep of the well fed, and Mr Mutt is surveying the back yard morosely, and wondering If There’s Any Justice At All In The Universe…….. (cos if there is, why oh why is he jus’ sittin’ waitin’ for his walk ?)

OK, Mr Mutt. Like the Guinness advert says, all it takes is patience…….. good things come to those wot wait…….

Ten Things Currently Visible From ChickPea's Window

1. Raindrops
2. Loads and loads of beautiful red cottoneaster berries
3. More raindrops
4. A recently cut hedge – tidy for the winter !
5. Rain on the windowpane
6. Trees turning all the wonderful hues of autumn
7. Raindrops dripping off the cotoneaster
8. Grey clouds
9. Puddles
10.Even more rain…………

Much too much rain recently........

ChickPea finally got outside today without needing brolly, macintosh or wellies ……… And the lawnmower came out to play too, much to Mr Mutt’s astonishment and the chooks’ surprise. The lawn itself is of multiple genetic inheritances – mostly meadow and wild rambling couch grass (as in ‘kooch’ rather than as in ‘sofa’ ) – and was nearing the length which would require a scythe……… but not quite……… and by assaulting it from every angle imaginable she got it got whittled down fairly well (TH doesn’t approve of this method – he likes to approach it from East and West, and so get A Lawn With Lines – but ChickPea has no such scruples – short is her requirement !). And then the chooks got out for a while on a Nematode Hunt, and Mr Mutt went off with ChickPea to rescue TH from The Big Box, alternatively named ‘Employment Environment’……….

Such was today’s excitement.

‘To Blog - or Not To Blog – that is the question’………

PS. Have you visited Risotto recently ? - do you know where Mr Heron is strutting his stuff ?

Talk Like A Pirate Day

Yup – no kiddin’ ! Today is “International Talk Like A pirate Day” ! ChickPea heard it on the BBC (Radio 4, at about 9am) – so it MUST be true !!

Avast, shipmates ! Shiver me timbers, but we need to get a grip here and sort out landlubbers from crew and make the place shipshape ! So wot’s to do ‘ere, then, wastin’ time on yon elekteronic gadjit an’ wearin’ out the sofa. Climb the riggin’ – an’ get hunkered down to business – else there’ll need to be some walkin’ of the plank………

Ooooeeeeee !

Sorry………. But wot fun ! ChickPea has just outwitted the gremlins that have been haunting her ‘Hi !’ ……… That big blank bit has actually had words in it for weeks n weeks……… Dunno why they wouldn’t show. Anyway – she appears to have dunnit………..at last.......

Tuesday 16th September, 2008

…..and STILL raining. Rain on rain on rain........

Mr Mutt is bored of paddling round the park and the chooks are well fed up of pretending to be ducks. ChickPea has finally given up thinking this is summertime and is accepting that her glums and lousy sleeping may be ‘SAD’-related, so she spent much of this morning in front of the ‘SAD’ light. We’ll insist she repeats this for the next few days and we shall see what happens…..

Dunno if it’s related, or not, but it is certainly high time she flexed the fingers and got back to the blogosphere……. All this rain an’ traipsin’ doon the Jobcentre isn’t doing her a lot of good. But she also toddled along to an employment agency a few weeks back – heard nuthin' - and then got a phonecall about 12.30md today asking if she wiz available to work this very afternoon………

So, wot the heck – off she scampered, and spent the next 30mins changing ‘Euro’ prices on shoes to ‘££££’ prices, and the next five and a half hours changing black plastic coathangars to fancy wooden ones, and trying to make the new coats and clothes involved look just perfect for someone to buy tomorrow when the shop opens for the first time……. She knew it’d be tiring – and she’s not sure she wants to do the same ever again – but the astonishing environment of a new clothes shop sorting itself out the day before opening is a vignette not previously encountered. The progress over the six hours was really quite, quite remarkable. Organized chaos. The ‘boutique’ for tomorrow was emerging steadily from the apparent melee of today.

And rather good to finish an hour earlier than expected……….. and GREAT to find that TH had cooked ChickPea her supper for when she got home. Now, bath and bed……….and if she doesn’t sleep well after all that………..

In Leith the Sun Shines

Mr Mutt takes Time Out

Mr Mutt Goes To Leith

Well….. ‘went to Leith’ , as in ‘yesterday’ might be more accurate.

TH was scheduled to be in Leith (by Edinburgh) for an hour or so related to work, so, taking pity on ChickPea’s recent Miserable Maud-like Mood and Mr Mutt being stuck with said person, TH gathered up some spare flexi-time, filled up the car (after getting the exhaust fixed…… you should have heard it…… ) - and then away they all went. Sunshine on waking up in the morning had already turned cloudy by the time they left, and thereafter to rain…… again. But as they trekked along the M8, clouds thinned, bits of blue appeared and the sun peeked thru. Wonderful !

A late breakfast had happened, so a shared round of sandwich at The Malt Whisky Society provided a most acceptable ‘luncheon’, and then TH went off to work, and Mr Mutt and ChickPea went off to saunter around and see the sights of Leith. Clouds amassing and departing meantime, the sun was a welcome but intermittent visitor, and Rain – astonishingly – didn’t arrive. So Mr Mutt and ChickPea basically toddled off doing the Leith River Walk (not at all like The Lambeth Walk, not least no cassocks……) for as far as they dared and back again, given not-knowing-where-the-next-bridge-was, it-looks-like-its-coming-up-to-rain-and-the-car-is-way-back-there, and not-many-people-around-I wonder-if-this-is-wise……….

And had a good time. And didn’t fret about not doing household chores/looking for a job/applications for a job/etc. Tho Mr Mutt did have to contend with His Own Frets (the ‘why-do-I-have-to-sit-here’-fret and the ‘what-if-she-goes-off-and-leaves-me’-fret).

TH had a successful time, Leith harboured a fine Turkish Café for an afternoon coffee with stickies once he re-joined the walkers, and then they all rambled off again to make room for supper – most ably provided by T.M.W.S. again, in The Vaults. (One floor up – no – I don’t understand either ….) Haggis, neeps an’ tatties to remember for all the right reasons, followed by The Finest of Summer Berries Crannochan and Choicest of Cheeses. (‘F’ the cholesterol diet….)…….

All Part Of Life’s Rich Tapestry.

Mama Mia !

What a hoot ! TH and ChickPea needed a break several Saturdays ago, so they took theyselves away out to a film. They happened upon ‘Mama Mia’.

Me oh my – wot a larf !!! Larfed her socks off, she did. And cried – yup – cried too. The tears wiz rollin’ they wiz.

There wiz sea, and sunshine – lots n lots a’ sunshine……….. and sand, and friends, and friendship, and love and laughter and fun……. almost like you wiz there yersel’ too………Sheer fun………

And there wiz families, and Fraught, and Frantic and Frenetic. And Forgiveness.

So much wiz unlike ChickPea’s own experience.

And there wiz tears, and there wiz laughter. And there wiz Understanding, and Forgiveness, and Acceptance. And Wrongs Were Righted, and Partners Found, and there wiz fun and Rejoicing and Giving Thanks. And Celebration.

And much wiz like ChickPea’s own experience. And the Whole was So Very Incredible An Experience, that it needed to be repeated, to see if it was true.

So last night, they went again, with some pals. And yes – there wiz the sea, and the sky, and the sunshine, and the love, and the laughter. And this time there wiz words too…….. Now there’s a Thing. Singing. An’ Dancin’.

Glasgow was oot an’ aboot, an’ at its ver’ bestest. Its Finest. Most Memorable. An’ the film wiz Fun. Again. And it wiz good. Very Good.

Led by the Spirit indeed......

ChickPea found another kindred spirit today….. well, ‘re-found’, ‘re-encountered’. (Amazing what you can find when/if you look, eh !) TWO posts on his blog since she’d last sought him – a wealth of words and heaps to consider, loads to want to answer. But a ‘learned reader’ she is not. How on earth to respond to the question, “Should we always respond to the Holy Spirit ?”……….. but even if his blog’s ‘comments’ seemed inadequate a forum for beginning to address this, would the question go away ? Indeed not………it fizzed and frothed in Chickpea's head........

So let’s see what we can find in ChickPea’s kitchen……..what insights can be found amongst the various ingredients, stirrings and splashes from today’s soufflé……..

Steven says, in his blog 'Searching for God', “The Holy Spirit. Should we always respond to the Holy Spirit? What does it feel like in the life of the Christian to first recognise the Spirit and then to respond in submission to it? I think I am familiar with the first issue. I know, I think, what it feels like to feel the Spirit move me. Sometimes, especially when faced with someone else's pain or poverty I feel a desire to do something. I feel not just compassion but a desire to turn the compassion into an action. For example, I was walking to the train station from work. A sad homeless man shuffled along in front of me. He was wearing an old suit and white trainers. His face was cut up. He was carrying a cup of coffee and stopped to pick up what appeared to be a small coin. I wanted to stop and take this man for a proper dinner, to feed him properly and make him feel like a human being. I also wanted to go home, get my own dinner and relax after a bruising day in court. What did I do? Well I ignored the Holy Spirit of course and justified it by saying I did not know if the man was drunk or sober. I know it brings to mind a middle-class slushy teenage sense of Christian ethics but it is perhaps helpful to ask, "What would Jesus do?"

Indeed. What WOULD Jesus do…….? I know what ChickPea has done on oh, so many occasions……. Exactly the same as you, Steven. Now, putting aside the “Jesus” question, which I think diverts us from the real issue here, and to which I think we may already know an accurate answer…….. IS this action given here a ‘non-response’ ? – or is it a response, indeed, of ‘ignoring the Holy Spirit’ ? …… or of ‘declining’…. ‘refusing’…… ?

“Should we always respond to the Holy Spirit ?”. Can we, indeed, NOT respond in some way, if we have been aware in the first instance ? My own thoughts are that we usually DO respond to things…… maybe not as we would like to, however. We may ignore, or refuse, or only partially respond as we feel called to respond. Sometimes we are just not up to the task, nor ready to seek the strength to enable us to respond in such a way. Maybe it will cost us too much…….. the money, the energy, the time, the love that we just do not feel capable of giving. It may be a cop out, but I consider all of these as parts of ‘the human condition’, part of being a son or daughter of ‘Adam’ and the inheritance of ‘sin’ which comes along with this package, and which is intrinsic to my very cellular composition……

Hence my need for redemption, for being saved from being the ‘less-than-ideal’ me, and transformed, through the Love of God and the example as well as the sacrifice of Christ, into ‘The-Me-That-I-Was-Created-To-Be’……… the Me that will be so much more than I can ever be on my own, and that will be so very MUCH ‘Me’………. Not ‘someone else’ – but Me.

And maybe, just maybe, trying to respond positively to the Holy Spirit in the opportunities that arise along the way will gradually assist and effect the personal growth, that transformation, that Can Be. That the original ‘Redemption’ has made possible. That is always there, awaiting the positive response. That with love – the Love of God – the Love of Others – even my own feeble and faltering Love that allows me to try and respond of a time – Can Achieve the unbelievable.

Well ? Well ?!! Don’t just sit there ! Hide if you must – but what do YOU think ?

PS. Call round to Steven's blog here : http://stevenmcquitty.blogspot.com/

Role Play Update

ChickPea has been upping the stakes tonight, with more job applications.

As she told you before, the ‘Pharmacy Assistant’ did not have her name on it, tho’ she felt she could have worn the hat quite proficiently. She awaits ‘Phlebotomist’ and ‘Home Care Provider’ responses, and/or developments from the employment agency. She might alternatively become a ‘Kennel Person’ at a local vet surgery, or maybe ‘Receptionist’ for a local dental practice.

Alternatively………..

Maelstrom

Round, and round, and round, and round.

What’s this ? Roundabouts again ? - with Gorgeous Golden Gallopers or with motor vehicles ?

Er, no.

Just the repetitive dull skies/grey clouds/rain/dull skies/grey clouds/rain saga…… and the ‘get up/survive/try to sleep/get up/survive’ round……..and the ‘try to be nice/walk the dog/try to be nice/do the washing up/still try to be nice/do more chores/try to be nice/walk the dog again/still try to be nice/do supper/try to be nice/do the washing up/still try to be nice’ edition of Everyday Life For Everyone…...... and, of course, the ‘find advert/believe it’s a job you could do perfectly well/gain application form/apply/make sure application was received/wait…./wait…./wait…../find anuther advert/believe THIS is a job you really could do’ version as well………

Monotonous. Maddening. Mindnumbing. Muddling. Messingwithhead-ing.

(and this is only week 5 so far…....)

Yup. Not enough sunshine. Open the 'Red Bull'....... On with the S.A.D. light....... try to assist a miracle.............

...... Morbid Mabel Strikes Again, and Loopy Looe is out to play……...

"Time for bed" sez Zebedee.......

What ho, Chickpea - how're the chooks ?

How kind of you to ask.

Rain has been the name of the game here – how has it been with you ? We had 24 hours non-stop monsoon. Many had more, I believe. I sympathize. Living on top of a hill, flooding wasn’t very likely for ChickPea and TH – tho’ as the hill is made of clay, the surface water tends to gather readily – leaving the bedraggled chooks somewhat less than convinced of their safety, and looking for an ark…. Before the rains started the hens had started digging to Australia, so to give them continued scope for exploration and in hopes of providing a better surface to live on, bark chippings were put down – over the following week these all got scratched away into a heap, exposing the earth beneath so mining could resume…….consequently the monsoon-chooks were in mud up to their knees and eyeing up the conservatory as a potential re-location……

But today has been great – SUNSHINE ! The puddles have gone, feathers are dry and re-fluffed. The chooks Want Oot.

So after his morning constitutional, Mr Mutt was out on his tether, Eena stayed back to do her essential chore of egg-laying, and Meena was out in the front garden with ChickPea, and they were gardening……… well, ChickPea was weeding, and Meena was digging up slugs within sight and reach, but out of the way. They made a good team.

Then the engineer arrived to service the central heating boiler, so play stopped. Meena went back to Bluecastle (the chookhouse and run), and ChickPea went indoors to do the washingup.

When the engineer had finished, gardening resumed with Eena out, Meena spending her afternoon thinking about egg-laying…. (but getting nothing done as she was soooo distracted because she wasn’t allowed out to play again!)

Eena meantime decided to re-invent the gardening game by scratching up the bit that ChickPea had just dug and tidied…. Move her out of the way and she just returned, again……. and again…… and again ! Completely and hentirely focussed….

The BlogBug Is Biting

Great ! ChickPea think she’s evaded capture by the ManFluBug (remember Pride goeth before a fall, ChickPea !) – but the BlogBug seems friendly……. So what’s been happening in this wee corner of the Virtual Universe ?

Headaches and sneezes aside, of course……….

Well, jobseeking continues apace. You know how it goes. You move on from the last knockback, convince yourself you could maybe fit the profile of the next vacancy…… needs a bit of tweaking of the old CV you finally tracked down in a pile in the back bedroom…… (could the sneezing be dust, ChickPea ? – perhaps a…. er…. small possibity ?! )

Remote. (NO, ChickPea – that’s the thing TH uses for the telly……)

Go away……. SORRY – not YOU, dear reader – that Irritating Other that pops up….. Now where were we……..

So you tackle the next Application Form…….. CV handy ….. last application stuff up on the computer (Aha ! – saved a copy – that’s good……)….. cup of coffee and a chocolate biscuit and…… (just get on with it ChickPea). OK. Of course, this one requires minor remodelling of the Persona Profile, re-orientation of ‘Dream Demands’, a little brain adjustment to really believe I Could Be This Person. But hey – Of Course I Could. Might Be Fun. Certainly different. Less money too. Of course. But hey – there’s more to life than filthy lucre…… scribble scribble, scribble oops, scribble scribble…….

Hardly was that one away, and Mr Mutt walked for the morning, and ChickPea had to scamper off to sign on. Got there early. Onto computer-like-Thingy to see what jobs we’ll do tomorrow……..Scaffolding Erector ?...... maybe not… Corner the doorman in good time to try and get my documents into the way they do the queue…..

One or two printouts in her paw when she’s called over……some printed accidentally. So, of course, THOSE are the ones he latches onto, no discussion, and trots off to ‘Make An Introduction Sheet’ for……. How Kind. What do we do with these then ? Does she HAVE to follow these up because They Can Trace Them ? Will this stop the net income of peanuts if she DOESN’T follow up ? It’s all a bit embarrassing…… this one was interesting because it was temporary, in an office (new exploration), for just 2 months……. BUT does say ‘Senior Officer’ …… which seems to suggest they’d want someone Who Knows What They Are Doing – not Someone Just Finding Out…….. Ho Hum.

Got home. Made a few phonecalls. (This is supposed to be 'holiday'). Yes, that one needs experience (of the right type. As We Thought). This one’s closing date is today – but not to worry – they’ll email the Application Form and it can be emailed back again. Oh yes – and they’re REALLY glad ChickPea got in touch, and late arrival of details Will Not Be A Problem……….b****r…… no getoutofjailfreetherethen……

But it’s ALL on computer …… it’ll be easy then……..’Allow 30mins to 1 ½ hrs’……doddle even……..

Now this is A Good One…….. Takes The Biscuit better even than Mr Mutt. Not only do they demand the exact pass marks of the ‘O’ levels I took well over … er… 20(ish) years ago, but they want to know which month did the course start/finish, and what board the exams were with…….. NEVER been asked that one before……. How the f*** do we find that one out, then ? ……and I can’t move on in the electronic form without that detail….. Ha ! ...Got It ! ...put “I’m not sure but will find out if necessary”…….don’t suppose they’ll even notice…….(and all for an 18 hours a week ‘career’ at that…….)

But that was not the best bit. OH NO.

ChickPea was due to take TH out on the randan for the evening, about 6.30pm, then Go To Visit A Friend. Starting on it at 4.30pm should have meant it was All Over by then. 6.40pm and still no end in sight. “Should be fine to leave it on till later on, and come back to it” sez TH…… that’s good, because ChickPea can’t see any way of saving it, and as her windup laptop has forgotten how to enter sleep mode, seems feasible………

So. Off they went. Delivered TH. ChickPea off to great evening with Friend. Nice chicken’n’pineapple, boiled rice (chooks’ll love any remaining boiled rice), duck‘n’noodles, veggies (get our ‘five a day’) and prawn crackers…….

Home. 10pm. On With Application. All Seemed Well. Now into ‘Statement in Support of Application’…they insist on more than 500 words, and hope for more than 600 but less than 1000…… WHY did I want to do this ?....... Ah yes…….. Midnight plus fourteen. Go Collect TH. Good evening. Good. Home. Coffee and finish the Startrek episode (a few minutes’ downtime is good for the concentration). Back to ‘statement of…’ All Well.

2.30am, Statement Finished. Polished from several re-workings. Now has right number of words. Excellent. Copy and Paste and move on. Oh. “Too many characters” eh. Why didn’t they mention that, then. OK, whittle down this Excellent Statement…. take out the unnecessary words, re-order/re-word/summarize. ChickPea can do that. Even at this time in the morning she can do that if it’ll get this thing finished and sent. Done. Still too many characters…….. OK. Take out any remaining less important bits……now take out a few more adjectives (Yes – I got my ‘English Grammar’, even if at ordinary level)……… GREAT ! Just under ‘maximum number of characters’. Cut, paste AND MOVE ON….. (Still haven’t got to details of referees….)…… WHAT ? STILL TOO MANY CHARACTERS ! - but there’s not ! She word-counted it……… oh……. maybe they’re counting characters AND spaces……… so we’ll take out the gaps between paragraphs……..No different….. B****r. Over 1000 characters too many. But still over 500 words. That’s good then. Should’ve been in bed hours ago……… more re-working……..some of my best phrases now gone forever. Distillation. Distillation of the distillate. This is frustrating. Now how many ? YES. Cut’n’paste. YES. Done. (4am. Ooops). YES. Nearly done. Click on ‘next’…….

Oh NO !

“Your time allocation has expired. Please return to START.”

This wasn’t a dream.

Holiday Haverings........

What’s a ‘Holiday’ ?……… “Time to rest, relax, recuperate, re-charge, re-create……”

So, here we are. The Hubby has his main holiday of the year. Two weeks away from the office (we’ll overlook the morning he disappeared off for a meeting, and the night out on Friday). So, ChickPea – despite jobseeking continuo – is also (technically) ‘on holiday’. And now we’re nearing the end of the second week…..

And, what ?

Well, if you’re resident in UK you’ll know about the rain…… more rain………even more rain…….. and more rain.

And if you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know TH has spent much of the last two weeks in bed with a flu-like bug which is reluctant to leave, and which has bestowed a ‘post-viral’-like state, just in case TH was beginning to feel any better. This prevented the planned brief trip away last weekend, and guarantees TH a low mood, low morale and misery (luckily, with a small ‘m’ – he does try, very very hard, NOT to be grouchy. Difficult with Man Flu).

I guess this scenario ‘goes with the territory’ of the moment. But it’s a bit disappointing. Certainly Shoots The Muse In The Foot (most successfully !) So ChickPea has been cooking. Again. (Have you tried the Risotto ?). TH is a bit dischuffed she’s spending so much time on her laptop, but ChickPea reckons this is much the same sauce enjoyed by the gander……

(Hope you’re following this amorphous mixture…too much wooden spoon, not enough blender...)

But……. Why does the male of the species use different spectacles when he looks at the female ‘taking time off’ than he uses for himself ? I know he’s ill, but……….

Why is it ok for ChickPea to be houseworking or ‘job-stuff-ing’ when ‘on holiday,’ or (learning to) editing photographs, but not ok to be blogging…… when TH spends hours and hours hisself, editing photos, surfing whoknowswhat, paddling in e-bay, or somesuchlike…….

Sorry, I’m a bit grumpy tonight……… maybe I’m getting Man-Flu too……

Better take Mr Mutt out for his Late Constitutional……. Where’s the brolly ? Nite nite.

Kerumbs !

Today held An Awesome Thrill ! David McMahon, in his truly inspired ‘authorblog’ has awarded the Souffle an accolade. Thank You, David. But Thank You Much More for your blog, putting your own visitors – even couch surfers like me – into such easy contact with so many and such varied blogs (which I for one mightn’t have discovered otherwise…..)

Thank you, too, all you lovely, lovely visitors - and for your kind comments …….. I tried to call back, but haven’t reached you all yet……. sorry……. (I just HAD to hack the lawn down while I could still see over it……… took three attempts as it was……..)

It Takes Time

“It takes time. Aye………..it certainly does.”
“And what’s that, then ?”
“Oh – you know”.

Lots of things. Loads of things, even. Waiting for Christmas……for paint to dry…..…for yeast to rise when you’re making bread…… for a cake to cook…….. time to gather together the ingredients for a risotto…….. or for a soufflé, come to that.

And time for the bereavement process to lumber along……….

ChickPea thought she’d finished blogging the other night. Guess she had, kindof. Had finally published that post that Started Before, But Wouldn’t Finish…….( it just wasn’t cooked – somehow it wasn’t ‘complete’…… but HOW to finish it ? – What else did it need ? ………. so it sat, and festered ……… ok, ok – it MATURED)………..

And then, earlier that night, there came an almighty kick to the buttparts, and ChickPea realized that A Most Significant Post had not yet been written. Time had slipped by. And For Life To Be OK, It Needed To Be Written……… but ….. How On Earth Would It Start ?

I’m sure you’ve been there …… writing a book…..a postcard……. a sermon…… a letter……a blog post….…. The Wish is there, but The Muse hides in a cupboard somewhere……..(presumably a-mused)…..

And suddenly, Light Dawns…. (the chooks start muttering to themselves = the clockwork brain starts to move )…. and Then You Realize It’s Already There….. And Waiting….. Biding Its Time..… Waiting Till The Time Is Right……

And when that time has finally arrived, it can happen that the words just appear on the screen, and it all makes sense somehow – and if it’s not exactly right immediately, you kinda know which re-wording is The One To Keep…..

So ChickPea wuz kinda chuffed that Things Had Fallen Into Place. And, moreover, apparently, into an appropriate – even ‘right’ – place. Peace had been made. Life was ok. TH was in bed with his bug, and some NightNurse (no – not plural….) ….and was hopefully asleep….. At Last…….and hopefully thru till morning this time.

Then ChickPea took Mr Mutt out for his Late Night Constitutional. Whereupon another cupboard door opened, and out crept ‘Bereavemment’ in his best finery. Well, second-best finery. (‘Thankfully’ was right behind him, and distracted him a little, allowing ChickPea space ). Nonetheless, the two of them dogged her footsteps. And the bright bubble aftermath of blogging Was No More…….

To outwit The Descending Cloud, ChickPea Pondered……

Bereavement cannot, after all, be (successfully) outrun, out-manoeuvred or otherwise evaded. If you get a headstart, it will still catch you up. If you are very quick on your feet, you may think you’ve won….. but it still catches you up………eventually. Probably At An Inopportune Moment. If you grab it by the lapels and make it sit down, thinking that at least you know where it is, it will get up and Take You By Surprise when you least expect it…...

No, the only REAL, effective way is to accept it into your life for the time it takes, accept it as a guest, hopefully bringing some good memories but accepting the myriad tears and regrets and sadness………

No, you cannot evade Bereavement……… so allow it in, give it a cup of tea and a piece of cake, sit down with it, if you can, when you can, and accept the visit……

Knowing The Way

ChickPea is pondering…..again. How do folk know which way when travelling life’s paths ?

“Good morning chookies. What matters to you in Life ?”
“Who ? Us ? You’ll ask us what matters ? Well, there’s a thing…… oooh – there’s another one ! And if we scratch here….. and there…… we’ll find more things…… some of them good, and tasty, some not….. some lost, some well hidden……. And of course we’ll tell you all about it – everyone will hear about what we think……..”
“Ah. So you’d have been out front, outside, last Sunday, fluffing your feathers and strutting about, finding something to nag at………. And maybe missing the Fundamental Truth…… but With The Best Intention….. I'm not so sure you’re Episcopal hens after all…..””

“What about yourself, Mistress Mog – what helps you in life – you’re not a map reader – what tells you The Way ?”
“Ah, well. I’ve seen Things Change. The ups and the downs. My first move is – if it’s sunny, sit still in the sunshine. Rest. Enjoy. Stretch. Wash and brush up. If it looks right, and interesting, explore it. (Carefully). If it tastes right, eat up and be given nourishment.”
“I see. And if not…. ?”
“Ah. They say ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ – so I’ve been kinda careful. For nineteen years. If In Doubt – Sleep. Has been ok for me so far. Worked for DJ. Worked Out Right for him eventually.”
“I see you’ve found a deep truth there, Ms Mog.”

“And you, Mr Mutt ?”
“Me ? You noticed me ? Wow ! Well – I say that if the walk is going along a fine path, good view, interesting smells, I’ll go too. Head up, tail up, bright eyes, great smile. If I don’t like the look of it, I’ll dig my feet in, drag behind and question the whole package. Should certainly be able to eat it – or give it a try, anyway. A certain decorum is appropriate…….if it’s LOUD and noisy, I’ll likely vamoose – and go another route. Offskie…… Most important of all – it’s got to smell right.”

“Not so different from the last posting, eh.”

Uh huh. There’s maybe a grain or two of good seed here, amongst the weeds and rubbish. The Big Man Himself, all those years ago, would have fondled these beasts. And I’m sure Mr Mutt wouldn’t have bitten Him……..

Reality Shows

What’s this ? Is ChickPea a closet ‘Big Brother’ fan ? Or is she trying to ‘Look Good Naked’ ?

Ha ! – NO !!!!!!

She considers such so-called ‘Reality Shows’ something of a poser. These facile TV programmes seem to show the viewer everything except ‘reality’ – ok, it may be happening ‘now’, maybe even in ‘real time’ - but is so unbelievably contrived that ‘REAL’ is hardly an appropriate description………Unreal maybe…..

No. ChickPea has Something Else in mind. She’s thinking that ‘reality’ shows in so very many ways ….. not just the hard things we all meet in our lives (usually when we’d rather not….), but the kind words, thoughtful gestures, affirming embrace that so unexpectedly manifest……. all of which demonstrate something ‘Real’ about the interaction, the friendship…… something honest……… something true…… something Loving…….. and Lovely.

And, somehow, ‘Real’ will always get through, come to light, be seen…….. ‘show’.

And that, is good. Even five days later, despite all the fog of intervening Life, that is very, VERY good.

And THAT is what we met last Sunday when +Gene visited S Mary’s to both Celebrate The Mystery of Christ (and Christianity) and to preach The Word (and this latter so very firmly based upon the words of the day’s readings of the lectionary).

Both the Eucharist and the sermon were so, SO ‘Real’.

If anyone there had previously doubted the true Reality of the man – let alone of the bishop – meeting +Gene that day, hearing him speaking from the depths of his faith, experience and insight, seeing his pastoral care and concern for several beloved who spoke with him ….. any Such a person, like Thomas touching the nail prints, would have Seen, And Believed……..

And, astonishingly, this particular incident of Reality certainly seems to me to transcend the limitations of recording. (Unlike ‘Big Bro’).

See For Yourself at http://thecathedral.org.uk (on 'Home Page' select 'Spirituality' and 'Preaching') or through the haze from the incense of http://thurible.net

The Dark Knight

Good film. Joker certainly deserved his Oscar. But very dark. Very violent. Quite gratuitous. Much be a '12' rating purely on technicality. Parents need to be aware.

"Socks.......... JUST what I always wanted......."

By the time you get to read this, TH will have Reached His Annual Auspicious Day. This year, ChickPea had Time To Prepare. Before the Partnership Blessing on Saturday, she dashed off into town to get TH a present. And what…. ?

Well, of course, there IS only one possible answer. What does the Man Who Has Everything always need ?

EXACTLY. Socks. So that’s what she got.

Now, for some obscure reason, TH does not much like getting socks. Through the years, ChickPea has given him cheap socks, good socks, silly socks, fancy socks, warm socks, Cool sox, Very Silly socks and Unbelievably Expensive socks – and his response is usually much the same……

So……..

She got him a book as well (about a puppy – aaaaaaaahhhhhh...)

TH never seems to read the books ChickPea buys for him. But he loves reading books……… (other books)……… So – she got him a book as well.

Happy Birthday, TH !

(Now…… how long d’you suppose it took before TH looked inside the front cover of the book, read the wee ‘post-it’ note, turned this over as directed to read the back of the ‘post-it’ note, and discovered there was another parcel hidden in the top cupboard downstairs……….. ?
(a) less than 0.03 seconds; (b) 0.03 seconds; (c) more than 3 minutes (plus prompting…..)

So - Now, at last, Him’n’Her can both play the Wii that TH bought (them) for ChickPea’s Unofficial Birthday a few months back ! ! )

Whistle, and the surplices come running........

There was a partnership blessing today, so the choir were being prised out of their Summer Cupboard, dust and mothballs shaken off, ready to wheel out for the occasion – the cassocks stood to attention, and when ChickPea whistled, the surplices all came running…….. then the singers arrived 10 minutes later…….

And all went well, all was well (apart from the organ sypher during the prayers), and the sun shone on the Happy Couple. Long may Happiness embrace them.

Tonight, TH is away singing in Strathallan.

While TH Cat is Away, Mouse Will Out To Play – yes – don’t tell ! - ChickPea’s having a fling !

Well…. several flings………. with Wally Washingmachine, Herbie Hanger, and Ivor Iron for starters, with C.Rumple and C.Rease muscling in on the action too… (oh dear - she’s evidently got to that age……)

Meantime, Mr Mutt yawns, looks bored and waits patiently for his late night stroll…….

bah.........humbug.........

ChickPea hoped yesterday that today this'd be deleted…. this is what the keyboard came up with yesterday…..

“ Ah Well…….. I guess it was very likely……very likely indeed. Or very unlikely – if you see what I mean…..

“That is, it was very very likely that ChickPea would NOT get the first job for which she got an interview, or very very UNlikely that she would get it……….

“Sorry, it’s 8.30pm at the end of what feels like a very long day……… and it’s dull, overcast and raining steadily……. The interview this morning seemed to go ok, the Interviewers were kind, job description (new role, post expected to evolve to accommodate department requirements) exciting and challenging in all the right ways, the workplace lovely, All Other Staff Encountered were great……. ChickPea thought she would fit in very well indeed, and was very hopeful……….they said they’ll be able to let us know tomorrow……..

“But…….the likelihood is high that No.1 Successful Candidate will actually have heard this afternoon, sleep on it and confirm in the morning ……. hence just the three others to hear tomorrow……..

“So all feels a bit doom and gloom here this evening. I think ChickPea is doing her usual thing of Expecting The Worst, so When The Worst Happens it’s only what she expected…. Ah Well…. I suppose it’s one way……..”

And today ? …….. nuthin’……… jus’ the rain, more rain…….. and more rain……..

Tomorrow we shall sing and celebrate the first Same-Sex Celebration at S M’s, and Sunday we have Bishop Gene along. Good-oh ! If Life Can Be Fair it’ll be sunny !

Responding

After Mr Mutt’s Morning Constitutional, ChickPea was not managing to settle to anything/much/useful. Swimming around the blogosphere was The Temptation That Prevailed. Along the way she stumbled into a few new sites and interchanges which brightened this particular cloudy day.

One of her first calls was to drop in on a listed ‘favourite’ for a chuckle courtesy of Mr Rowan Atkinson. Ah yes – guess the trigger ! - The Lambeth Conference continues to cause ripples way beyond the tents of Canterbury (What a place that must be just now !). Anyhow…….. suffice to say that ChickPea found herself deeply focussed on A Response. A Comment even. The grey and white tangled bundles of neurones quivered with surprise ….. electricity hummed…… fingers twitched……. Keyboard clunked……… and The Result ? -

“Thank God for humour. Sadly I can think of no incontrovertible humour in the gospels, which would utterly reassure us of Christ's full humanity. But I doubt the crowds would've been interested if there was no laughter in Those eyes. I suspect He Himself would be at the front of the crowd with much of today's humour - laughing out loud - and rather than squandering precious time, energy and resources on conferences, would still be found in the street with aids victims, prostitutes, and our usual outcasts. I have a sneaking suspicion that He would embrace honest members of the gay fraternity, and support genuine love - wherever found - with joy”.

Yes, I think that’s what ChickPea both intended and managed to say. She has a number of gay friends – I hope they are happy to be called ‘friends’ rather than ‘acquaintances’ – and is gradually reaching a strong belief that Christ Himself would probably NOT be jumping up and down on a soapbox condemning those who find that Their Best Partner has to be of the Same Sex. Some of my best friends are of my (ie.same) sex. My Beloved Partner is of the Other Sex. Some of my other best friends are of the Other Sex, too, and some feel Physical Attraction to that one, and not my one.

As with Any Physical Attraction, some respond, some don’t. Sometimes you want to, are able to, and do. Sometimes you want to, but choose not to. Doesn’t change your fundamental orientation, nor your God-given wish to share love (in one of Love’s many manifestations).

So what of ‘orientaton’? Does this determine everything about the person ? Is someone any less ‘my friend’ because of it ? Or any less ‘God’s friend’ because of it ? Did he/she choose to be homosexual ? It seems not. Was he/she Created Thus ? It seems so.

Is God cruel – creating beings He will not recognize, will not love ? I THINK NOT.

In fact, it increasingly seems to me that Christ as portrayed would love these same folk as much as He (probably sighs and ) loves those who rant against them. Do Those Who Rant Against ‘The Gay Church’ actually bother to consider they may be ranting Against The Almighty ? – that God may perhaps be even greater than the limits of the Old Testament writings (and maybe even those of The New), and be hoping that we might bother to use our God-given, potentially Holy, Common Sense, Intuition and Understanding in this and other matters which confront us ?

Ah, Great God – how we do complicate things……..

Later on, (still swimming in the blogosphere – don’t tell TH….), ChickPea visited + Gene’s blog (and managed to add this link on the right). If you’ve been noticing any of the media’s machinations about Lambeth recently, you will have heard stuff about this guy, and maybe wondered what sort of a monster he is. So, Thank You Gene for your blog, allowing us to hear your own thoughts directly. He reckons that “ the business of loving the world that God has made, and every person in it, is messy and difficult.” How right he is. ChickPea is looking forward to hearing his voice in person when he preaches at S Mary’s Episcopal Cathedral in Glasgow this Sunday.

Watch........ (enter ye not into temptation...)

You may (or there again, you may not….) recall ChickPea’s Timepiece. Of the wristwatch variety. Well – it did it - Yet Again - both Once Too Often AND Too Many Times ( ie.self-selecting ‘menu’ / ‘reset’ / ‘anything-in-the-world-except-the-time’ that is )……

So………

Back to Mr Asda (sorry, Mr Lay Clerk), to peruse the Field Of Options.

Such a field may be amongst the fairest of places to be on a good day, with the sun on your back and the wind on your face, the buttercups around your feet and the skylark ascending……….

However………

This morning it was raining. Well, it was raining by the time ChickPea got halfway to Mr Asda’s most local premises. Luckily, Mr Asda had previously accommodated ChickPea’s wish for an Umbrella. All Was NOT Lost. Just not dry. Not at all dry. Soggy jeans and damp T-shirt notwithstanding, ChickPea furled her brolly upon arrival, girded her lions, and Sallied Forth In To The Field.

Now – what’ve we got here then………..? ……………Digital……. NOooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of Analogue Alternative Attractions……… blue faces, yellow faces, green faces, sparkly bits, pink bits, straps, bracelets, numbers, no numbers, round ones and square ones, big wans and wee wans………. Oooooh ! What a Field To Fancy……….

Sadly, the Boy’s Own £6.00 Man on the Surfboard (was a fine fellow and companion that one) was not to be found this time (off to the beach, doubtless)…. So, with ‘Interview’ in mind, ChickPea thought she should eschew the ‘pink pussycat’ options and get Something Suitable (TH will be relieved)………. but............. How Boring……….

Time shall again, at the point of fullness, doubtless, Tell All…………

Of Wigits, Wotsits and Learning Curves

Grrrrrrrrr ! Grump ! Gurgh-umpf ! Sigh ! Fiddlesticks and Gross Exasperation !

Who Knows (and isn't telling) - but maybe the intricacies (even basics would do for a start) of Blog layout (ok - 'design') will one day be unravelled by ChickPea…….tho 'Not Yet', you already understand........

Maybe - just maybe - the ‘widgets’, ‘feedjits’, 'whodunnits', ‘howonearthyits’ and ‘wotsits’ will actually, eventually be understood, selected and published as intended (rather than happening as Explorations, appearing On Screen as unequivocal Accidents and Then Becoming Permanent and, like Japanese Knotweed, deep rooted and fixed here till everlasting…….)

Please - PLEASE - tell ChickPea - just HOW does an Ignorant Imbecillic Computer Nobody learn all this jargon, get a handle on what is possible, track down a ‘How The F To Do It’ guidebook and tools – and then…. p’raps…… manage to DO it ?

(By the way - answers do not need a postcard – post a ‘comment’ ……….)

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo........ Which is which ?

Well, as Myna and Moe have not yet arrived (and are hovering in the future as a question mark just now) it reduces the options somewhat !

The 2 fine trail-blazing Ladies have settled in well, taking over the garden whenever they are allowed out of their run.

This is ‘Eena’, who has given us a wee brown egg every day since she arrived on 5th July. As you can see, Eena is a very pale beautiful gold, with paler – almost white - petticoats and a fine ‘lacy’ shawl down her back. She loves slugs and is the bossier and ‘pushier’ of the two, usually being ‘leader’ for new experiences and usually first in snatching anything that looks edible. A favourite exercise is persuading TH to turn things over to find out what is underneath……It May Be Tasty……..

And here (along with Unexpected Space), we have ‘Meena’, who started laying on 16th July, eleven days after arriving. Meena, in contrast to Eena, is a fine brunette, with a classy lacy necklace (tho you can’t see that in this picture). She is the brains of the two - smart, not pushy, not the brave one – she prefers the ‘Number 2’ position, and was first to suss how to get a decent drink out of the water droppers.

“What sort of hens are they ?” Well, since you ask.......... They are both ‘Bovum Goldlines’, which (if ChickPea’s scribbled notes are accurate) is a hybrid hen bred from crossing a ‘Meadowsweet Ranger’ and a ‘Gold Star’…… Characteristically noted to be ‘high yield layers’, inquisitive, friendly and good to handle.

Also found since arrival to have their own comments about everything, eclectic tastes and voracious appetites. (As Kenny explained, “Scottish Episcopalian hens”).

Wow ! Wheeee ! Swing from the rafters !

Here’s a lovely surprise ! Have to share it. ChickPea has an interview next week !

(Well – she also has one tomorrow, Part II re ‘Jobseeker’s Allowance’ or whatever it is that they now call the former ‘Unemployment Benefit', but we’ll forget that one, because if it’s anything like the Part I phone-referral that she made yesterday, then I’m sure she’ll be wanting to forget it ASAP – filling in such an insensitive form yourself is one thing ........ ‘Are you looking for work ?' - yes.... 'Are you able to take up work ?' - yes.......... 'Have you any disability ?' - No........ 'Do you have any injury that would stop you working ?' - WHAT ? - NO .....'Are you waiting on any disability claims ?' - NO...... 'What have you been doing’ – fulltime carer for DJ who has just died’……’Have you been receiving any benefits ?’ – yes, Carer’s Allowance which has now stopped….. ‘Why are you claiming this benefit ?’ – because my Carer’s Allowance has now stopped…’Why have you stopped your previous allowance ?’ – because DJ has just died.…’How did you know about this benefit ?’ – because I’d previously been working for the last 25-odd years and paying my state contributions on the offchance that there just might be a time when I wasn’t working and needed to claim unemployment benefit….’When are you claiming from ?’ – well, DJ died on the 13th, and I’m told that my allowance stopped straight away, so I guess I’m claiming from the 14th…..’When did you start looking for a job ?’ – well, from about the 16th when I contacted DHSS to notify them of DJ’s death and heard that my allowance had therefore stopped 2 days before…....‘WHY were you not looking for a job sooner ?’ – because I was looking after DJ who has just died…… SCREAMS….. quietly….. being asked exactly the same unwieldy insensitive no-brainer questions over a poor phone link, in a very fast indistinct voice with a strong indiscernible accent is really no joke……).

But there – I guess it wasn’t really her fault………

So, we’ll forget the hoops of tomorrow, and today we’ll swing from the rafters with joy in readiness for next week………… this was the very first application………. even if one of the other 10 (probably) candidates gets it, it’s still a boost for ChickPea’s morale to get called for interview so soon…………

Re-Invention Roundabout

Travelling along Your Own Road, you too may well encounter this Obstacle To Forward Progress. Re-Invention Roundabout. Tends to occur just after A Life-Changing Event, but may equally unexpectedly crop up anywhere along your way.

If you are fortunate enough to have to encounter this Travellers’ Obstacle on a sunny day, you may be able to stop and take advantage of the tables, chairs and parasols which occupy the centre, to put your feet up and rest awhile, Considering Your Options. You may find others there too. Some may be lucky enough to possess the map which identifies aspects of the locality sufficient to assist Route Planning. Some may even have a SatNav to guide them onwards………

ChickPea is currently experiencing brief interludes of sunshine plus showers. So the parasols are useful. And, having the present luxury of no strict itinerary to set a timescale, there is, just now, time to pause and draw breath…. ( ie. she is unable to find a useful map, unable to work the SatNav ….can’t find the ‘on’ switch …….. dunno where the compass is either…… and now the sun has gone again…….)

Aye, it’s good there’s parasols……….

Perhaps there’ll be Light Refreshment too………

(But we’ll try and stop her pitching a tent……………)

Hello !

Ponderings In The Park

ChickPea and Mr Mutt took TH to his work one morning recently, then they found a cheeky (and slightly illegal, we have to confess) parking place so that they could head off to the park for an hour before Morning Prayer (which might, perchance, offset the ‘illegal’ thing a little)……

The weather was dry, the sun was out – it was A Good Place To Be. A good place to buffer the body with a little exercise and buffer the spirit with Time Out.

They galloped a very little, ‘power walked’ a small little, walked fairly fast a lot. Stopped by to watch the ducks ….. including the very tall long-leggedy grey ‘duck’ with a very long pointy beak who was clearly really pretending not to be a heron (“Herons eat fish” he said when ChickPea asked him – “I’m eating bread, and I’m in a DUCK pond, so I must be a duck”)….. And then it was time to find a seat and cool down a little. Well, 2 seats as it transpired…..

The first seat was by the pond. In their wisdom, Those Who Did It positioned the seat to face the path and some bushes, ie. with back to the pond…(nuhr…) …so no chance of comfortable distraction and oblivion by watching the ducks then…….

So there they were, Mr Mutt and ChickPea, watching the world whiz by, variously on 2 feet, 4 feet and 2 wheels…. Distracting really……. Most distracting………. Increasingly and irritatingly distracting. Hence The Other Seat.

Now the Second Seat was a wee bit away from the beaten track, slightly up a slope, overlooking the river, and the university, and The Ways Of The World. Here, several paths converged – or diverged. Dependent upon your perspective. So, from Here you could see where these paths led – well, the first bit of the path anyway. So you could choose your way forward with a little enlightenment. Unlike the challenge of trying to identify Potentially Possible Paths in th’ ol’ “Life” context. ChickPea and Mr Mutt sat in the sunshine and Pondered………

Yesterday ChickPea and Mr Mutt kindof did much the same. Tho the day wasn’t. Maybe it was because yesterday was the Feast Day designated to Mary Magdalene. (That was a nice surprise).

But yesterday there was atmospheric dampness. The park was quiet. Mr Heron was pretending to be a garden statue. And there wasn’t a lot of pondering. In fact, ChickPea’s Head was remarkably quiet. Settled even. It seems like some of the re-filing has happened, some of the initial angst is maybe past, and some of The Dilemma isn’t anymore. Time Will Tell (but there, Time never could keep a secret).

But - tell me – this question remains - is something still a “choice” if you don’t see it or recognize it as such ? …… ChickPea can look back from this far distance to when she left school, and ponder the choices she made then….. and re-evaluate ... and Wonder Why she didn’t see the other options that were also there… that now seem so obvious, and maybe would have been attractive to choose….

But, if something is unrecognised / unidentified as An Option at that time, maybe it isn’t An Option at all …… What thoughts, blogreader ?

(C’mon – I dare you - have a ponder an’ share it with us – live Life On The Edge………)