The BlogBug Is Biting

Great ! ChickPea think she’s evaded capture by the ManFluBug (remember Pride goeth before a fall, ChickPea !) – but the BlogBug seems friendly……. So what’s been happening in this wee corner of the Virtual Universe ?

Headaches and sneezes aside, of course……….

Well, jobseeking continues apace. You know how it goes. You move on from the last knockback, convince yourself you could maybe fit the profile of the next vacancy…… needs a bit of tweaking of the old CV you finally tracked down in a pile in the back bedroom…… (could the sneezing be dust, ChickPea ? – perhaps a…. er…. small possibity ?! )

Remote. (NO, ChickPea – that’s the thing TH uses for the telly……)

Go away……. SORRY – not YOU, dear reader – that Irritating Other that pops up….. Now where were we……..

So you tackle the next Application Form…….. CV handy ….. last application stuff up on the computer (Aha ! – saved a copy – that’s good……)….. cup of coffee and a chocolate biscuit and…… (just get on with it ChickPea). OK. Of course, this one requires minor remodelling of the Persona Profile, re-orientation of ‘Dream Demands’, a little brain adjustment to really believe I Could Be This Person. But hey – Of Course I Could. Might Be Fun. Certainly different. Less money too. Of course. But hey – there’s more to life than filthy lucre…… scribble scribble, scribble oops, scribble scribble…….

Hardly was that one away, and Mr Mutt walked for the morning, and ChickPea had to scamper off to sign on. Got there early. Onto computer-like-Thingy to see what jobs we’ll do tomorrow……..Scaffolding Erector ?...... maybe not… Corner the doorman in good time to try and get my documents into the way they do the queue…..

One or two printouts in her paw when she’s called over……some printed accidentally. So, of course, THOSE are the ones he latches onto, no discussion, and trots off to ‘Make An Introduction Sheet’ for……. How Kind. What do we do with these then ? Does she HAVE to follow these up because They Can Trace Them ? Will this stop the net income of peanuts if she DOESN’T follow up ? It’s all a bit embarrassing…… this one was interesting because it was temporary, in an office (new exploration), for just 2 months……. BUT does say ‘Senior Officer’ …… which seems to suggest they’d want someone Who Knows What They Are Doing – not Someone Just Finding Out…….. Ho Hum.

Got home. Made a few phonecalls. (This is supposed to be 'holiday'). Yes, that one needs experience (of the right type. As We Thought). This one’s closing date is today – but not to worry – they’ll email the Application Form and it can be emailed back again. Oh yes – and they’re REALLY glad ChickPea got in touch, and late arrival of details Will Not Be A Problem……….b****r…… no getoutofjailfreetherethen……

But it’s ALL on computer …… it’ll be easy then……..’Allow 30mins to 1 ½ hrs’……doddle even……..

Now this is A Good One…….. Takes The Biscuit better even than Mr Mutt. Not only do they demand the exact pass marks of the ‘O’ levels I took well over … er… 20(ish) years ago, but they want to know which month did the course start/finish, and what board the exams were with…….. NEVER been asked that one before……. How the f*** do we find that one out, then ? ……and I can’t move on in the electronic form without that detail….. Ha ! ...Got It ! ...put “I’m not sure but will find out if necessary”…….don’t suppose they’ll even notice…….(and all for an 18 hours a week ‘career’ at that…….)

But that was not the best bit. OH NO.

ChickPea was due to take TH out on the randan for the evening, about 6.30pm, then Go To Visit A Friend. Starting on it at 4.30pm should have meant it was All Over by then. 6.40pm and still no end in sight. “Should be fine to leave it on till later on, and come back to it” sez TH…… that’s good, because ChickPea can’t see any way of saving it, and as her windup laptop has forgotten how to enter sleep mode, seems feasible………

So. Off they went. Delivered TH. ChickPea off to great evening with Friend. Nice chicken’n’pineapple, boiled rice (chooks’ll love any remaining boiled rice), duck‘n’noodles, veggies (get our ‘five a day’) and prawn crackers…….

Home. 10pm. On With Application. All Seemed Well. Now into ‘Statement in Support of Application’…they insist on more than 500 words, and hope for more than 600 but less than 1000…… WHY did I want to do this ?....... Ah yes…….. Midnight plus fourteen. Go Collect TH. Good evening. Good. Home. Coffee and finish the Startrek episode (a few minutes’ downtime is good for the concentration). Back to ‘statement of…’ All Well.

2.30am, Statement Finished. Polished from several re-workings. Now has right number of words. Excellent. Copy and Paste and move on. Oh. “Too many characters” eh. Why didn’t they mention that, then. OK, whittle down this Excellent Statement…. take out the unnecessary words, re-order/re-word/summarize. ChickPea can do that. Even at this time in the morning she can do that if it’ll get this thing finished and sent. Done. Still too many characters…….. OK. Take out any remaining less important bits……now take out a few more adjectives (Yes – I got my ‘English Grammar’, even if at ordinary level)……… GREAT ! Just under ‘maximum number of characters’. Cut, paste AND MOVE ON….. (Still haven’t got to details of referees….)…… WHAT ? STILL TOO MANY CHARACTERS ! - but there’s not ! She word-counted it……… oh……. maybe they’re counting characters AND spaces……… so we’ll take out the gaps between paragraphs……..No different….. B****r. Over 1000 characters too many. But still over 500 words. That’s good then. Should’ve been in bed hours ago……… more re-working……..some of my best phrases now gone forever. Distillation. Distillation of the distillate. This is frustrating. Now how many ? YES. Cut’n’paste. YES. Done. (4am. Ooops). YES. Nearly done. Click on ‘next’…….

Oh NO !

“Your time allocation has expired. Please return to START.”

This wasn’t a dream.