Sunday 31 January 2010

BirdWatch Weekend

This is the last weekend of January, and the RSPB has again requested an hour spent counting birds. So here I was, between morning service and evensong, relaxing in our lovely conservatory, yawning in the sunshine I confess, and counting all sizes of feathered visitors. And keeping young Monster Mr Mog under lock and key, of course. His birdwatching is certainly enthusiastic, but seems likely to have a rather different ‘end agenda’ to that requested by the RSPB............

We had fully stocked up the feeders and bird table in the glorious sunshine this morning, knowing it’d be this afternoon before I could sit down for the count. And then, at last, the time had arrived.......

What a rare treat these days.

When DJ was with us he loved sitting out in the conservatory, a great addition to the house that greatly increased our quality of life by enhancing our regular awareness and contact with the Outside World. When DJ first moved in he would spend most of his day, every day, sitting out here and enjoying the visits of so many different bird species. When he needed constant care it became a great treat for me to be able to sit down and share this haven with him. But as his dementia steadily got worse, DJ sadly lost touch with such gentle peace and pleasure from the creatures around him.

Yes. Today it was good to spend time in the conservatory.

TH and I have been very aware that the numbers of our garden’s feathered visitors have been declining over the last few years – but what a shock to realize that we have had fewer than twenty birds visiting over this last hour, with a group of just five birds (chaffinches, as it happened) being the largest group at any one time – as opposed to several years’ previously when counting eight or more birds at a time before they flew off was a real challenge.......

So what DID we find this year ? Sadly – no collared doves, no starlings, no blackbirds, no house sparrows...... and, sadly, very few others. Just two robins, one magpie, one great tit, one coal tit..... I nearly stopped counting early, too – but it was worth waiting for those very last two minutes of the hour – those final moments fleetingly brought a second bluetit AND a second long-tailed tit into view and into my final figures – both of these were in groups of several birds together last year.

All thanks to the RSPB for their work and attention to these lovely creatures..........

Tuesday 26 January 2010

Re. (1) Wrestling With Dragons, and (2) Being Still.......

A second run of the ‘Exploring Prayer’ course started at the church this last weekend. I’d intended joining the first one, but was just starting the new job at that time, and didn’t apply in time for the well-oversubscribed series. This was probably A Good Thing, as any new job demands time and energy and application. A new focus on prayer at that time would probably have been a Step Beyond both where I was at or able to be....... realistically.

Last week was not an easy one. Now into the fifth month of the no longer so ‘new’ job. The honeymoon is over. I guess that entering this area of territory is inevitable at this stage of a job change of any sort, and hopefully indicates positive elements of ‘Engaging With The Journey Involved’ and ‘Making Progress’. Maybe...

General scenario of the job is that I work with two (jobshare) High Heidyun’ Bosses, and a full-time deputy boss. One of these is fantastic to work with, one is willing to listen (sometimes - seems likely we’ll find a mutually acceptable and satisfactory working relationship). For the third one I RAPIDLY need to find coping strategies to ensure my survival. (In the middle of last week I seriously lost the will to live, let alone to keep tramping onwards).

In consequence, part of each week is jus’ great, fulfilling and increasingly satisfying, and part of each week is fairly horrid.

The Twosome HHBs each work three days, overlapping midweek, and – I guess – both trying to fit a full five-day working week into the three days available.........

The Deputy Dawg appears to have the dog’s own tasks of ‘making good’ the whole caboosh, meeting both his own task list and agenda, and ‘being there’ for the HHBs and for the office staff (two if fully staffed). Elderly Parents is a factor too. I understand something of that......

Much of the office function is achieved through the Awesome Efforts of a committed team of volunteers, currently somewhat stretched in number, with ongoing recruitment and training being integral to office business. In addition, I encounter probably about seventy other folk who regularly pass through the office each week needing administrative support and assistance, and these are all – I think without exception – very lovely people, and all a joy to work with, for and alongside. (No – I didn’t say ‘perfect’ – but then which of any of us could claim that accolade ?). And, too, there are the clients, prime focus of the whole endeavour, who arrive, phone in or otherwise require some time and attention.

There. The scene is set. Not an overwhelming demand, all in all, and the entire reason that there is a job to fill in the first place. A Fine Job. A Good Job. A Job Worth Doing (in my estimation).

So, stepping back to view the landscape, the picture is generally a good one. Working difficulties with one, well, one-and-a-half people out of a working total of approximately a hundred a week, is probably not too bad........ statistically speaking, that is.........

My Dragons crept out from under the rock-solid personal view that I was – presumably – given the job on the strength of my past experience and demonstrated previous ability, personality and potential to both fulfil the current and anticipated requirements of the job. At interview, I understood from what was said by both HHBs, that they were keen to gain my insights and energy to assist ongoing accomplishment and forward progress.

This last week I was gobsmacked to receive fundamental criticisms of both my basic personality and of my semiconscious stress responses......... (yup - yet another infection again at the beginning of the week, then the usual episodes of extreme to near overwhelming demand on the office brought the Stress Dragon into play too).

There also appeared to be the assumption that I needed - and should accept as valid - precise dictatorial directives re how to perform really quite basic tasks (despite many others repeatedly complimenting me on both satisfactory and sometimes exemplary task fulfilment within strictures of resources). The concept of accepting that this HHB – who I respect enormously – considers it right and acceptable to take such a stance in making such criticism, produced billowing smoke and fire-breathing monsters in my head. Especially when said criticism was described as ‘Support’..... and any attempt by Muggins Me to advance any discussion was criticized as evidence of ‘Problems Accepting Authority’.

I fully appreciate that there are many personal and professional demands upon each of us, and that these may – appropriately or inappropriately – impinge upon our various working relationships.

I am also sure that I am unlikely to effect any significant change in working practice with this Dragon, who is co-incidentally of the previous generation, set up the office in the first instance (many years ago), and clearly carrying demanding responsibilities for the place.

As you may have gathered, all this stuff from last week was very much to the forefront of my awareness as the ‘Exploring Prayer’ session started. This did not really feel like the ideal foot to be standing on, as you may suppose, work issues demanding attention, trying to clarify the personal issues and questions involved, and clearly needing some immediate personal coping strategies. Attending to ‘Prayer of Awareness’ seemed a little unnecessary..........

As well as a certain amount of necessary talking about prayer, ‘Quiet ‘ tends to be a feature of a gathered group’s prayer experience.

Hhhhhmmmmmmmmnnn.........

‘Quiet’ can be amazing. ‘Space’ can be helpful. Things can well up from unexpected places, and may come into focus. Tears are a common factor within prayer for some people. Phrases may arise, maybe with a relevance to daily life.

Over the last few years I have encountered the phrase “What Would Jesus Do ?” This has felt something of a personal stumbling block, partly re. Cool Phraseology, partly through ‘Jesus’ /’sibling’ tensions as opposed to ‘God’/’parent’/comfort perceptions. Over this last weekend, this formerly irritating phrase has been buzzing around my head, and changed to become more of a gentle prompt and support. The search for the relevant question to address seems to have found a solution.

My own current Question appears to be ‘How do I proceed?’. The answer to WWJD? appears to be ‘Prayer’.....

Life is a Learning Process..........

Sunday 24 January 2010

being with.....

Like many – maybe most – folk, ChickPea finds it difficult to give or share when she’s struggling with the landscape. Doesn’t like landing stuff on other people. Feels it’s her own muddle to unravel, her own mess to sort out, and her own clutter to sift through.

Recently there has been a lot of ice to traverse, some slippery, some thin........ Now there’s mud, clogging forwards progress, and fog, distorting view and perspective...... what she needs is some sunshine.........

Recent terrain can make her quite difficult company. Sometimes there’s just not quite enough energy to go around and invest in everything she wants to.....

That she has kind, considerate and caring friends is a most wonderful blessing.

Friday 8 January 2010

The Callin' Birds are in good voice........

Despite the Twelve Days of Christmas now being over, with no evidence in these parts of Partridges in Pear Trees, Leaping Lords, and neither Swimmin’ nor skatin’ Swans............... but the Callin’ Birds are a different matter – a very different matter altogether.


Listen in to our Eena, Meena, Mina and Moe this mornin’ – wot a bloomin’ racket...............


(Meena - fairly quietly) “Awwk........mornin’.......anyone else awake yet ?........I SAID – ANYONE ELSE AWAKE YET ? – oh – you are, eh Meena ? Well, why didn’t you say? What about the others – are they still asleep ? Well, I don’t know. They say young things sleep more than their elders – BUT ! ..........this is RIDICULOUS! – oh – you guys awake too, eh ?.............

(Eena ) ........................do you think there’s anyone out there ? ............. do you think they know we’re here?

(Meena – a bit louder) “Hello.............helloooooooooo!”..............

(Eena – rather insistently) “Hey you guys – we’re awake – let us out”..........
(aside) “Do you think they’re awake yet ?”

(Myna – LOUDLY) ”HEEEELP!”.... “Save us!”........”Let us OUT!”......”We’re STAAAAAARVING TO DEATH in here!”.......HEEEEEEEELP...........we’re LOCKED IN ! .......... “NOBODY loves us!”...........NOBODY feeds us!........... IS THERE ANYBODY THEEEEEEEEEEEEERE?................

(Meena – aside) “They’ve forgotten all about us!”.............maybe they’re dead............ do you think they’re dead?

(Moe – in anguish) ”HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!”.........


If you know hens, especially spoiled hens that get shut up late at night to keep them warm, you’ll maybe be familiar with this tirade that drags you out of bed hoping desperately that the neighbours are still asleep and out of earshot................


But, to be fair, it HAS been a bit chilly these past few nights. It was -10 degrees C when TH left for work this morning at about 8am. And when we got home tonight we found the chooks’ initially warm porridge had frozen solid before they got to eat it (and they do so love their porridge! Usually gone in seconds)


We got home from work at about 5pm tonight. The temperature was already down to -5 degrees C.


This morning we had to find a new water bucket for the hens – their usual plastic bucket had frozen solid and the bottom had fallen out of it, so we’ve brought the galvanized replacement bucket indoors tonight. TH has heard that this will be the coldest night yet.


The chooks were well away to their bed when we got home – they now have their door shut already to keep some cold out – and tonight they have a well wrapped hot water bottle in with them for a bit of cosiness...........I can see them being into the conservatory (with underfloor heating) before the weekend is over !

Thursday 7 January 2010

Let me share this fabulous find........

I am indebted to TH for finding this (on Flickr)- I hope you enjoy it too !

I wish I was a glow worm
A glow worm’s never glum
‘Cos how can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out your bum ?

With thanks and every acknowledgement to Frigate RN

Saturday 2 January 2010

2010....... Wot a larf........

Welcome to another New Year – and merriment abounds. It must be related to the season – these Twelve Days of Christmas an’ a’ that, Partridges in Pear Trees and Leaping Lords, Swimmin’ Swans an’ Callin’ Birds – especially the Callin’ Birds........... I’d not be surprised if YOU heard our Eena, Meena, Mina and Moe this mornin’ – wot a bloomin’ racket

One of the blogs I really enjoy paying a visit to is The Cottage Smallholder. If you enjoy anything related to cooking, kitchens, gardens, dogs, hens – well, Life The World And Everything, really - then you might like to meet Fiona and Danny too. They are currently hosting a competition which will end on the Twelfth Day of Christmas, seeking latecomers to The Chefs’ and Gardeners’ Ball – do pay them a visit and see who you can introduce !

Meantime, despite The Lurgies of 2009 which moved in and took up residence here with TH and ChickPea through the last few weeks (or was it months ? – certainly felt like it), causing change to our plans to be away for the New Year Festivities, and even now still sapping our energy levels and abolishing any concepts of stamina – despite all, here’s us, sailing hopefully forwards into the dawn of 2010........

Now, approximately 20 years since first meeting......... 14 years post-wedding............. yet, ASTONISHINGLY, somehow still together, despite the everyday Turmoils, Trials And Tribulations Of Life which have crept in, evolved or erupted along our way through sunshine, dark corridors, good times, dashed hopes, joys, disappointments, happy times, sadnesses and fleeting moments of fulfilment.........

And STILL not a clue about what it’s all about........... Marriage, Life, Blog or ANYTHING...... really.............

Except................

Except that it is always good to meet people, in Real Life or Virtual Reality – or WHEREVER, really...... Good to meet and share a little........... moments, thoughts........... a bit of kindness..............a hand along the way............

Here’s hoping 2010 will hold good times for all of us, and kind company when we need it.