Responding

After Mr Mutt’s Morning Constitutional, ChickPea was not managing to settle to anything/much/useful. Swimming around the blogosphere was The Temptation That Prevailed. Along the way she stumbled into a few new sites and interchanges which brightened this particular cloudy day.

One of her first calls was to drop in on a listed ‘favourite’ for a chuckle courtesy of Mr Rowan Atkinson. Ah yes – guess the trigger ! - The Lambeth Conference continues to cause ripples way beyond the tents of Canterbury (What a place that must be just now !). Anyhow…….. suffice to say that ChickPea found herself deeply focussed on A Response. A Comment even. The grey and white tangled bundles of neurones quivered with surprise ….. electricity hummed…… fingers twitched……. Keyboard clunked……… and The Result ? -

“Thank God for humour. Sadly I can think of no incontrovertible humour in the gospels, which would utterly reassure us of Christ's full humanity. But I doubt the crowds would've been interested if there was no laughter in Those eyes. I suspect He Himself would be at the front of the crowd with much of today's humour - laughing out loud - and rather than squandering precious time, energy and resources on conferences, would still be found in the street with aids victims, prostitutes, and our usual outcasts. I have a sneaking suspicion that He would embrace honest members of the gay fraternity, and support genuine love - wherever found - with joy”.

Yes, I think that’s what ChickPea both intended and managed to say. She has a number of gay friends – I hope they are happy to be called ‘friends’ rather than ‘acquaintances’ – and is gradually reaching a strong belief that Christ Himself would probably NOT be jumping up and down on a soapbox condemning those who find that Their Best Partner has to be of the Same Sex. Some of my best friends are of my (ie.same) sex. My Beloved Partner is of the Other Sex. Some of my other best friends are of the Other Sex, too, and some feel Physical Attraction to that one, and not my one.

As with Any Physical Attraction, some respond, some don’t. Sometimes you want to, are able to, and do. Sometimes you want to, but choose not to. Doesn’t change your fundamental orientation, nor your God-given wish to share love (in one of Love’s many manifestations).

So what of ‘orientaton’? Does this determine everything about the person ? Is someone any less ‘my friend’ because of it ? Or any less ‘God’s friend’ because of it ? Did he/she choose to be homosexual ? It seems not. Was he/she Created Thus ? It seems so.

Is God cruel – creating beings He will not recognize, will not love ? I THINK NOT.

In fact, it increasingly seems to me that Christ as portrayed would love these same folk as much as He (probably sighs and ) loves those who rant against them. Do Those Who Rant Against ‘The Gay Church’ actually bother to consider they may be ranting Against The Almighty ? – that God may perhaps be even greater than the limits of the Old Testament writings (and maybe even those of The New), and be hoping that we might bother to use our God-given, potentially Holy, Common Sense, Intuition and Understanding in this and other matters which confront us ?

Ah, Great God – how we do complicate things……..

Later on, (still swimming in the blogosphere – don’t tell TH….), ChickPea visited + Gene’s blog (and managed to add this link on the right). If you’ve been noticing any of the media’s machinations about Lambeth recently, you will have heard stuff about this guy, and maybe wondered what sort of a monster he is. So, Thank You Gene for your blog, allowing us to hear your own thoughts directly. He reckons that “ the business of loving the world that God has made, and every person in it, is messy and difficult.” How right he is. ChickPea is looking forward to hearing his voice in person when he preaches at S Mary’s Episcopal Cathedral in Glasgow this Sunday.

Watch........ (enter ye not into temptation...)

You may (or there again, you may not….) recall ChickPea’s Timepiece. Of the wristwatch variety. Well – it did it - Yet Again - both Once Too Often AND Too Many Times ( ie.self-selecting ‘menu’ / ‘reset’ / ‘anything-in-the-world-except-the-time’ that is )……

So………

Back to Mr Asda (sorry, Mr Lay Clerk), to peruse the Field Of Options.

Such a field may be amongst the fairest of places to be on a good day, with the sun on your back and the wind on your face, the buttercups around your feet and the skylark ascending……….

However………

This morning it was raining. Well, it was raining by the time ChickPea got halfway to Mr Asda’s most local premises. Luckily, Mr Asda had previously accommodated ChickPea’s wish for an Umbrella. All Was NOT Lost. Just not dry. Not at all dry. Soggy jeans and damp T-shirt notwithstanding, ChickPea furled her brolly upon arrival, girded her lions, and Sallied Forth In To The Field.

Now – what’ve we got here then………..? ……………Digital……. NOooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of Analogue Alternative Attractions……… blue faces, yellow faces, green faces, sparkly bits, pink bits, straps, bracelets, numbers, no numbers, round ones and square ones, big wans and wee wans………. Oooooh ! What a Field To Fancy……….

Sadly, the Boy’s Own £6.00 Man on the Surfboard (was a fine fellow and companion that one) was not to be found this time (off to the beach, doubtless)…. So, with ‘Interview’ in mind, ChickPea thought she should eschew the ‘pink pussycat’ options and get Something Suitable (TH will be relieved)………. but............. How Boring……….

Time shall again, at the point of fullness, doubtless, Tell All…………

Of Wigits, Wotsits and Learning Curves

Grrrrrrrrr ! Grump ! Gurgh-umpf ! Sigh ! Fiddlesticks and Gross Exasperation !

Who Knows (and isn't telling) - but maybe the intricacies (even basics would do for a start) of Blog layout (ok - 'design') will one day be unravelled by ChickPea…….tho 'Not Yet', you already understand........

Maybe - just maybe - the ‘widgets’, ‘feedjits’, 'whodunnits', ‘howonearthyits’ and ‘wotsits’ will actually, eventually be understood, selected and published as intended (rather than happening as Explorations, appearing On Screen as unequivocal Accidents and Then Becoming Permanent and, like Japanese Knotweed, deep rooted and fixed here till everlasting…….)

Please - PLEASE - tell ChickPea - just HOW does an Ignorant Imbecillic Computer Nobody learn all this jargon, get a handle on what is possible, track down a ‘How The F To Do It’ guidebook and tools – and then…. p’raps…… manage to DO it ?

(By the way - answers do not need a postcard – post a ‘comment’ ……….)

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo........ Which is which ?

Well, as Myna and Moe have not yet arrived (and are hovering in the future as a question mark just now) it reduces the options somewhat !

The 2 fine trail-blazing Ladies have settled in well, taking over the garden whenever they are allowed out of their run.

This is ‘Eena’, who has given us a wee brown egg every day since she arrived on 5th July. As you can see, Eena is a very pale beautiful gold, with paler – almost white - petticoats and a fine ‘lacy’ shawl down her back. She loves slugs and is the bossier and ‘pushier’ of the two, usually being ‘leader’ for new experiences and usually first in snatching anything that looks edible. A favourite exercise is persuading TH to turn things over to find out what is underneath……It May Be Tasty……..

And here (along with Unexpected Space), we have ‘Meena’, who started laying on 16th July, eleven days after arriving. Meena, in contrast to Eena, is a fine brunette, with a classy lacy necklace (tho you can’t see that in this picture). She is the brains of the two - smart, not pushy, not the brave one – she prefers the ‘Number 2’ position, and was first to suss how to get a decent drink out of the water droppers.

“What sort of hens are they ?” Well, since you ask.......... They are both ‘Bovum Goldlines’, which (if ChickPea’s scribbled notes are accurate) is a hybrid hen bred from crossing a ‘Meadowsweet Ranger’ and a ‘Gold Star’…… Characteristically noted to be ‘high yield layers’, inquisitive, friendly and good to handle.

Also found since arrival to have their own comments about everything, eclectic tastes and voracious appetites. (As Kenny explained, “Scottish Episcopalian hens”).

Wow ! Wheeee ! Swing from the rafters !

Here’s a lovely surprise ! Have to share it. ChickPea has an interview next week !

(Well – she also has one tomorrow, Part II re ‘Jobseeker’s Allowance’ or whatever it is that they now call the former ‘Unemployment Benefit', but we’ll forget that one, because if it’s anything like the Part I phone-referral that she made yesterday, then I’m sure she’ll be wanting to forget it ASAP – filling in such an insensitive form yourself is one thing ........ ‘Are you looking for work ?' - yes.... 'Are you able to take up work ?' - yes.......... 'Have you any disability ?' - No........ 'Do you have any injury that would stop you working ?' - WHAT ? - NO .....'Are you waiting on any disability claims ?' - NO...... 'What have you been doing’ – fulltime carer for DJ who has just died’……’Have you been receiving any benefits ?’ – yes, Carer’s Allowance which has now stopped….. ‘Why are you claiming this benefit ?’ – because my Carer’s Allowance has now stopped…’Why have you stopped your previous allowance ?’ – because DJ has just died.…’How did you know about this benefit ?’ – because I’d previously been working for the last 25-odd years and paying my state contributions on the offchance that there just might be a time when I wasn’t working and needed to claim unemployment benefit….’When are you claiming from ?’ – well, DJ died on the 13th, and I’m told that my allowance stopped straight away, so I guess I’m claiming from the 14th…..’When did you start looking for a job ?’ – well, from about the 16th when I contacted DHSS to notify them of DJ’s death and heard that my allowance had therefore stopped 2 days before…....‘WHY were you not looking for a job sooner ?’ – because I was looking after DJ who has just died…… SCREAMS….. quietly….. being asked exactly the same unwieldy insensitive no-brainer questions over a poor phone link, in a very fast indistinct voice with a strong indiscernible accent is really no joke……).

But there – I guess it wasn’t really her fault………

So, we’ll forget the hoops of tomorrow, and today we’ll swing from the rafters with joy in readiness for next week………… this was the very first application………. even if one of the other 10 (probably) candidates gets it, it’s still a boost for ChickPea’s morale to get called for interview so soon…………

Re-Invention Roundabout

Travelling along Your Own Road, you too may well encounter this Obstacle To Forward Progress. Re-Invention Roundabout. Tends to occur just after A Life-Changing Event, but may equally unexpectedly crop up anywhere along your way.

If you are fortunate enough to have to encounter this Travellers’ Obstacle on a sunny day, you may be able to stop and take advantage of the tables, chairs and parasols which occupy the centre, to put your feet up and rest awhile, Considering Your Options. You may find others there too. Some may be lucky enough to possess the map which identifies aspects of the locality sufficient to assist Route Planning. Some may even have a SatNav to guide them onwards………

ChickPea is currently experiencing brief interludes of sunshine plus showers. So the parasols are useful. And, having the present luxury of no strict itinerary to set a timescale, there is, just now, time to pause and draw breath…. ( ie. she is unable to find a useful map, unable to work the SatNav ….can’t find the ‘on’ switch …….. dunno where the compass is either…… and now the sun has gone again…….)

Aye, it’s good there’s parasols……….

Perhaps there’ll be Light Refreshment too………

(But we’ll try and stop her pitching a tent……………)

Hello !

Ponderings In The Park

ChickPea and Mr Mutt took TH to his work one morning recently, then they found a cheeky (and slightly illegal, we have to confess) parking place so that they could head off to the park for an hour before Morning Prayer (which might, perchance, offset the ‘illegal’ thing a little)……

The weather was dry, the sun was out – it was A Good Place To Be. A good place to buffer the body with a little exercise and buffer the spirit with Time Out.

They galloped a very little, ‘power walked’ a small little, walked fairly fast a lot. Stopped by to watch the ducks ….. including the very tall long-leggedy grey ‘duck’ with a very long pointy beak who was clearly really pretending not to be a heron (“Herons eat fish” he said when ChickPea asked him – “I’m eating bread, and I’m in a DUCK pond, so I must be a duck”)….. And then it was time to find a seat and cool down a little. Well, 2 seats as it transpired…..

The first seat was by the pond. In their wisdom, Those Who Did It positioned the seat to face the path and some bushes, ie. with back to the pond…(nuhr…) …so no chance of comfortable distraction and oblivion by watching the ducks then…….

So there they were, Mr Mutt and ChickPea, watching the world whiz by, variously on 2 feet, 4 feet and 2 wheels…. Distracting really……. Most distracting………. Increasingly and irritatingly distracting. Hence The Other Seat.

Now the Second Seat was a wee bit away from the beaten track, slightly up a slope, overlooking the river, and the university, and The Ways Of The World. Here, several paths converged – or diverged. Dependent upon your perspective. So, from Here you could see where these paths led – well, the first bit of the path anyway. So you could choose your way forward with a little enlightenment. Unlike the challenge of trying to identify Potentially Possible Paths in th’ ol’ “Life” context. ChickPea and Mr Mutt sat in the sunshine and Pondered………

Yesterday ChickPea and Mr Mutt kindof did much the same. Tho the day wasn’t. Maybe it was because yesterday was the Feast Day designated to Mary Magdalene. (That was a nice surprise).

But yesterday there was atmospheric dampness. The park was quiet. Mr Heron was pretending to be a garden statue. And there wasn’t a lot of pondering. In fact, ChickPea’s Head was remarkably quiet. Settled even. It seems like some of the re-filing has happened, some of the initial angst is maybe past, and some of The Dilemma isn’t anymore. Time Will Tell (but there, Time never could keep a secret).

But - tell me – this question remains - is something still a “choice” if you don’t see it or recognize it as such ? …… ChickPea can look back from this far distance to when she left school, and ponder the choices she made then….. and re-evaluate ... and Wonder Why she didn’t see the other options that were also there… that now seem so obvious, and maybe would have been attractive to choose….

But, if something is unrecognised / unidentified as An Option at that time, maybe it isn’t An Option at all …… What thoughts, blogreader ?

(C’mon – I dare you - have a ponder an’ share it with us – live Life On The Edge………)

Walking the Way..........

ChickPea rediscovered the canal towpath yesterday. Was a Local Holiday day. TH needed a breath of fresh air, Mr Mutt needed his constitutional, the car needed to be collected from overnight parking near the hostelry they visited the night before. This combination of factors has previously resulted in Parkland Perambulation or Riverside Ramblings. But yesterday it was the turn of the canal.

The sun was shining…….Mr and Mrs Morehen and family of four were paddling out and about……. the dragonflies were practicing aerobatics…….. the ‘Wild Meadow’ plants alongside the sparkling water were resplendent in purple, white, blue, red, yellow…… the footpath had been restored since ChickPea last visited (about 15 years ago).....

.

.......TH was clicking here and there, camera in hand...........Mr Mutt's eyes were shining.......... and gee it was warm…......

Was Glorious. Was Time Out. Life Is Good.

BalloonFest

ChickPea opened the door yesterday, and got visited……… by the WhatIfs, the IfOnlys, the WhyDidntIs, the MaybeIfIHads and the PerhapsWeCouldHaves. Quite a crowd. Somewhat of a rabble. Most Distracting.

The visitors had a rare old party.

ChickPea wasn’t so sure. But luckily there were balloons………loads and loads of balloons………. and loads and loads of air……..(she hadn’t been mixing soufflé recently)……..and a wee breath of breeze……….. Ideal ingredients for An Alternative Approach.

Best party game of all time……… ChickPea was steward and Had Responsibility to organize the event……..each contestant gets given slightly more balloons than necessary to suspend their weight above the ground…….. open the door and ………. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

GREAT. Peace and Quiet came round then. Much easier company.

Kindness

Apologies for ChickPea’s absence. And thanks for kind comments. Fuelled by incense from the Thurible, Lay Clerk’s insurance nightmare, and Can Bass 1’s dilemmas of form-filling, we find ourself here again.

Has been a rollercoaster week and weekend. TH and ChickPea have met such kindness throughout. We’re not into ‘soppy-stuff-religiosity’……. But nonetheless, sometimes you just find that the Love of God envelops and enfolds you and carries you through something. That’s how it has been this week, preparing for and living through DJ’s funeral which happened yesterday. A most difficult experience completely transformed by Love, Caring and so, so much Kindness.

And now the clouds of yesterday morning have passed, sunshine is with us, and both Eeny and Meeny are giving us eggs on a daily basis. Mr Mutt is dozing with one eye open, and on us, in hope of a Little Light Exercise. Ms Mog is deep in The Land Of Nod. The Chooks want Someone To Talk To……Anyone Will Do … (and Please Please PLEASE Give Access To The Garden at the same time…..)

Normal Service will resume soon……….

Dearest DJ. R.I.P.

We knew we were nearing this time, but expected ‘the day and the hour’ to be a while away yet. We were wrong.

Thankfully we had visited him in his Respite accommodation most days over last week, and had spent much of Sunday afternoon with him out in the sunshine in their garden. Though dozing much of the time, he clearly enjoyed both his own and my tea and egg custard pies, and surprised us with an appreciative comment regarding the roses. (He spent many years in his own garden, and cultivated beautiful roses which gave both him and his wife such joy). He was settled, appeared comfortable and at peace. This reportedly continued after we left. He enjoyed his supper and a later snack, and was sitting quietly in the communal lounge, apparently dozing in accustomed fashion.

But he had slipped away to The Next Realm. He had been so ready and waiting – and so impatient - to Go for so, so long.

May he Rest In Peace.

Quite By Surprize

“Hello. This is us, sayin' for ourselves. Not too bad a day today – we’re now getting’ the hang of how to get ourselves out the hoosie an' down the ladder and how to scratch and peck right down into the grass roots to find Interesting Things……. Mostly Tasty, of course…….

“There was a lot of precipitation yesterday, so we got muddied feets – some sunshine today, which was much better.

“But she tricked us again tonight.

“Earlier, we’d popped into the hoosie for a wee rest, and He came out the door – so we went out to make sure He knew we were onto Him, and not caught napping. Thought He’d maybe got us something to eat – but He went away again. So we pottered about, at This An’ That, got bored and went up into the hoosie for a rest.

“Then She came out – Quietly – or so she thought – but heh ! WE could see her from here – so out we went to say ‘hello’ – and she went and disappeared off again. Oh well… (Fluffs feathers a bit…..)

“Then it was getting a bit dark – an’ that tabby cat from next door wiz thinkin’ his arm could jus’ reach in thru our door…. An’ then She shut it …….. took us Quite By Surprize, She did – must’ve crept out the front door and down the side of the house to catch us out like that – very quietly - She DID talk to us – once She’d shut the door - so we knowed it was Her…….. but Quite by Surprize….. we’d’ve gone out to say ‘Hello’ if we’d known……… so we told Her – even tho the door was shut - we told Her real good – we told Her alright……….. if only we’d’ve seen her coming……….”

Discerning The Time........

Now – what IS ChickPea on about this time ?

‘Discerning The Time’ … could be about the sun……. When Mr Mutt was out for his ‘early’ constitutional recently, the sun was well up, but had not yet reached the zenith. So I guess it must have still been ‘morning’. But getting any closer to digital accuracy would be tricky. Aye, Discerning The Time can be interesting, plus or minus a sundial.

Or it could be about ChickPea’s infamous watch….. An A**a Special (we’d better use the stated principle of Protecting The Innocent – even for A**a…) which cost ChickPea an extravagant £5 when previous watches had Given Up The Struggle or simply Wandered Off Elsewhere. The previous A**a Special was of analogue design, with clockface and hands ……. and a wee chappie on a surfboard (yup - kinda fun !) This yin is digital…….. and ChickPea finds herself doing mental gymnastics to re-visualize the figures as a face with hands…….. ‘cos rarely is she asking “What time is it ?” but “How long have I got till……” or (more often) “How late am I ?” This yin also has the irritating habit of engaging ‘reset’ mode at most inconvenient moments, so even a digital representation of the time is something of a surprise…... Aye, Discerning The Time can be challenging with a digital watch, too……..

Maybe she’s concentrating on ‘The Time’ because ‘The Way’ is actually the relevant question. Where on earth does she go from here ? Where and how will she find employment ? How will she pick up the current pieces and make them fit together in a gainful package ? How will she motivate herself to cope with it all ? Aye. A wee episode of Displacement, maybe. (And complete lack of Discernment of any sort at all).

Perhaps she’s bogged down in ‘Biological Clock’ stuff. That would certainly help explain some of the loopiness we’re seeing (according to ‘Grumpy Old Women’ programmes on UK TV).

Or maybe she’s gone metaphysical on us, and is alluding to Those Moments In Life when you find yourself drawn towards Another, and Wondering………”If I Should”……. or, “If I Might”…..… it may be someone you know, or someone you don’t know – but the dilemma can be similar………. sometimes The Time Is Right to reach out and give…… or to Open Communication Channels and drop the barriers and receive……… and sometimes The Time Is NOT Right, or not appropriate…….. Who Knows ? Aye, Discerning The Time can be most perplexing….

Or it could be that she is still going over and over and over in her heart concerning the unfolding of timing regarding DJ’s re-location of living circumstances into Permanent Residential Care……..

Aye. ‘Discerning The Time’……a dilemma…… and I guess sometimes, despite determination….. you just can’t.…. for yourself. Sometimes you just have to Trust Others, knowing that their ‘outside insights’ are shared thoughtfully, kindly, carefully……… with Love For All Concerned.

Who Knows. (That Immortal ‘Who’ again….)

'Discerning The Time'. What are your experiences and insights ?

Happiness

Mr Mutt had a bone. It was a very fine bone, and Mr Mutt’s eyes were out on stalks when he saw it. I know we were advised not to give him raw bones, him having Bitten People He Shouldn’t Have Bit an’ all that…………..

But just see his happy eyes ……… now – you can’t tell me that wasn’t as near Sheer Joy as Mr Mutt can get just now……...

The First Eggs.........

As you know from a recent blogpost, Eeny and Meeny took up residence on Saturday 5th July, fluffed up their feathers and now rule the roost. Eeny hunkered down and presented us with our first 2 eggs over yesterday and today. Small. Brown. Perfectly formed. Exquisite even. Miraculous gifts. One each for TH and ChickPea by the end of this afternoon.

You can imagine the dilemma of How To Eat Them !

‘Boiled’ was the final decision………..

Now ChickPea last boiled an egg about 20 years ago…… since then she got married, and gained half shares in an egg timer. She had always wanted an egg timer. One of those elegant glass creations of two conjoined sealed bulbs with fine sand enclosed therein. Designed to Ensure A Perfectly Boiled Egg. And here, at long last, was the opportunity to test it out. There was Discussion, Agreement and then Implementation. .....

As TH opened his egg, it rapidly became evident that it was Underdone. But as the shells were both open, a few moments in the microwave appeared appropriate to complete the cooking. TH manged this aspect of the Undertaking. Admirably. All Was Well.

ChickPea and TH sat down to eat…….. the spoons were poised…………

BANG !

ChickPea’s egg EGGSPLODED ! Myriad tiny specks of thoroughly cooked yolk absolutely covered her face, hair, polo shirt, the sofa, TH…….. it even reached the window and the ceiling ! (Mr Mutt responded valiantly when called upon to help out - so got his share of the feast too... )

Aye. A Most Memorable Egg – and an Eggstrordinary Eggsperience !

Kenny's Gauntlet.........

“So, will this same sex relationship between the chooks be recognised and blessed by the Church?” Methinks I discern within this recent comment arising out of the last blogpost a gauntlet flung down before us............

(Consults The Dictionary : "Church - the collective body of all Christians" )

So – us – us wot identify ourselves as ‘Christians’ by alignment with our understanding of Christ Himself and Holy Teachings - WE could recognize, affirm and bless………… but WILL we ?

....or DO some of us already ? (Is the Church already in dissention on this matter ?)

And is the question restricted to ‘same sex relationship’ ? (Chooks or not)

Is the question perhaps more extensive - about the celebration and affirmation of mutuality ?

(I kinda like this word – it’s a new word to me, but if my understanding is correct, a long cherished concept).

The Dictionary Again: “Mutual – experienced or expressed by each of two or more people about the other; reciprocal ; ……common to or shared by both”. I note that Kelvin’s use of the word seems to embrace a positive affirmation, acceptance and validation of each for the other as well. And this seems to me to get to the very heart of relationship (small ‘r’ intended ) – this is not just about marriage, or committed partnerships, but about all positive, effective, validatory, affirmative relationships…….. I include those more often termed ‘friendship’. Maybe ‘working relationships’ as well. And it perhaps overspills too into everyday life….

If even every passing verbal contact is a simple relationship, and I can invest each and every such contact with an understanding of affirmation, acceptance and validation – what effect could just I achieve…… ? And if the wider Church Universal would consider and practice this – THEN what effect could be achieved ? (Do you ever make real bread ? – yeast and ‘leavening’ came to mind, and the Church’s Given Mission Statement to be leaven in the dough/the world…..)

Religion and Faith start having some sort of a reason – a purpose - now.

If even the very stones of our temporal church buildings accept and rely on the validity of each other, and have stood firm over the years, accepting and transcending the current dissents and disagreements of The Time, surely Holy common sense can teach us /The Church today Tolerance and Acceptance – even tho Agreement may decline to join the party ? Our supposedly esteemed Church leaders could maybe sit quietly and Learn Basics at the feet of The Christ – The One who would, and did, tear down and rebuild ‘the stones of the temple’ in three days as I recall…….

What an exciting prospect for the Lambeth Conference……..

That Holy common sense might prevail imparts Hope…… and if, perchance, Holy common sense did prevail in the extended church it would be Miraculous Indeed…… but it might just need a bit more Love than The Church Temporal is actually willing to acknowledge/accept/practice…….

What do YOU think ?

Of Chooks..... and Church....

Yesterday the chooks arrived. Well, were collected from Jedburgh, and transported back in a quizzical box. With Occasional Noises and Sporadic Pecks. (‘Pecks’ of the beak variety – none of that ‘gym’ and 'effort' nonsense here……)

It was dull and overcast when TH and ChickPea identified The Two Concerned from amongst their sistren (‘brethren’ not being present as they don’t lay eggs….). By the time they reached their new home, the heavens were Precipitating Wet Stuff, so the chooks snuggled down, battened down the hatches, and hoped for Sunshine.

Well, maybe they didn’t get sunshine, but there have been Moments Of Dry today. So ‘Eena’ and ‘Meena’ have discovered Grass, and Sky, and things To Walk Over, and lots of new Things To Eat. And Wind. (Ruffles the petticoats, but is ok).

And they gave us an egg !

While they were busy about All That, closely guarded by TH and Mr Mutt, ChickPea was doing some Catching Up With Herself, kindly supported by Others.

And there was a wee bit of ‘Episcopalianism’ involved too. You’ll have been hearing about ‘General Synod’ (happening Now), and ‘Lambeth Conference’ (happening Soon) in England. National Newspapers are making great sport. Easy for us Piskies to sit back on the sidelines and gawp at much of this. You know how families tend to be……. And need a bit of a reminder, and Help To Reflect.

We got a most thought-provoking sermon this morning. Find it at www.thurible.net - I do recommend a visit if you are willing to engage in a Little Reflection, Thought And Consideration……… with perhaps a willingness to Recognize The Struggles from Another Perspective.

Is To Be Expected.........

We had expected Life To Be Different Without DJ. But hadn’t expected these overwhelming feelings of grief and loss, and the complete and utter dis-order of Life Turned Upside-Down……..

We all slipped quite gently into living together, several years ago. DJ was getting more lonely in his Northern Town about 400 miles away from TH and ChickPea. He enjoyed his holidays down to visit them. Truth be told, he wasn’t really feeding himself so well on his own, and he was getting a bit scared living alone. For TH and ChickPea there was little Impact On Life Here initially. DJ was independent and self-caring, ate with them, sat with them, watched TV with them, conversed a little. Didn’t want to go out much, but enjoyed coming along to church and sitting away up the back while his son and daughter-in-law sang with the choir towards the sharp end. Life was ok. A bit tight for space, maybe, because a 2-bedroomed house with too much clutter doesn’t allow much room for manoeuvre. But we got by…..

As changes crept in, so Life Accommodated. When DJ stopped bothering to eat on his own, the Support Team started to visit. When he got lonely on his own all day, he started going to a Day Centre. The Space Factor was dealt with by a purpose-built bedroom with an ensuite wetfloor shower room. When he forgot it was night time, he had a notice by his bed to remind him. Life accommodated so gently to start with we hardly noticed. The downhill slope was so very gradual, then.

When he developed the need for 24-hr care in September 2006, ChickPea stopped working to keep him company. She thought DJ would continue at home for at least 4-5 years yet......

ChickPea looks back now, and can hardly believe that the recent precipice was so hidden from sight. This crash was not expected yet. Sudden unforeseen loss of life maybe, a kind and gentle visit from the Grim Reaper in the depths of a night…… but not this catastrophic loss of sleeping and ‘domino-effect’ health deterioration. ChickPea had hoped we could continue until at least the end of the summer months. All kind of ‘civilized’ and kind of ‘manageable’. If only…... but some things you cannot control…….

DJ appears as well as can be expected, really. Residential Homes have the security of warmth, company, routine, absolutely and completely predictable mealtimes. Not too much unpredictability. He has been quite settled when ChickPea has visited this week. Calm, not Anxious or Fretful (these latter 2 Fearfuls had become regular companions for DJ here at home). Talking a little, seeming to accept honest answers to questions, managing to play dominoes with a little assistance. And he is clean, quite tidy, cared for. A few nights of falls and not sleeping, but that is as it has been recently. More than six weeks without full sleep wasn't going to be survivable for any of us - the writing was appearing on the wall, even if we didn't want to read it. The staff are great – all seem kind, relaxed, friendly, concerned. Willing to talk a little – but not too much – getting on with their jobs as necessary. There’s a good atmosphere. Helps ChickPea’s head to cope, even if her heart and emotions are totally screwed up just now. Is To Be Expected, I guess……….

Friday 4th July 2008

Happy American Independence Day !

A notable day for the ChickPea family – because the henhouse and run have arrived ! At Last ! All 5 (big) boxes of it. All now lurking in the conservatory (rainclouds hovering around, and wet cardboard really doesn’t appeal……), awaiting The Bread-Winner's Return - then we’ll get tore into assemblage, and find out if all the bits have arrived ok………..

But 2 months later than first anticipated, so DJ misses out from our growing family, which is sad. Part of the original intention was for therapy – for DJ to have something soft and alive to hold and cuddle (Mr Mutt proving not to consider this an appropriate duty) – but as we’ve found, these 2 months have brought such changes………

Maybe the Feathered Females – 2 due to be collected tomorrow, another 2 to join them when we can – will prove to be good therapy for TH and Chickpea, re-organizing and re-aligning their lives without DJ under the same roof.

Hen-parties imminent………….

" 4 and 6 words"

Yes – ChickPea remembers she made a promise. At that time, the words which collected together to describe where she was at were “rested, balanced(ish), trusting, pensive…….”. Basically, ok.

Since then TH and ChickPea have been having to face the stark current realities of our life, and recognizing the minefield which has to be traversed. Realistically, for DJ’s care, there is no other choice. And reluctantly, very reluctantly and very sadly, TH and ChickPea are taking the first steps for him into the minefield……..

Now it has to be 6 words, and these have to be “very sad, utterly realistic, very many tears……….”.

You can see or guess where we’re at. ……….

Weighty Matters

DJ is no lightweight (The Falls Prevention Team weighed him about 6 months ago and pronounced him too heavy – but, honestly, is it really appropriate to put a 95 year old on a weight-loss diet ? He always loses weight whenever he is in Respite anyway, like 4 holes-worth of his trouser belt - so it was reassuring to think that with a wee bit extra of him there might be something of him left to get home after such ‘breaks’ away).

But as you have gathered from previous postings, he’s been falling a lot over the last few weeks. Like 2-3 times every night. Getting him up off the floor at 2am is not easy. But it’s not just the weight factor. He increasingly does the exact opposite of what you have asked him to do, or otherwise does the most unhelpful thing you can think of. Now we KNOW this isn’t intentional – that it is yet another aspect of his dementia - but at 2am in the morning it just made the whole situation so very much more difficult…….

The last few nights before he went into Respite were essentially ‘good nights’. Only had to scrape him off the floor twice between 9pm and 7am……. Somehow he has evaded severe injury….. Somehow, so have we…. Though TH has an almost permanently bad back, and despite ChickPea’s back easing off when she stopped working for the NHS, there have been twinges…… and now, with DJ still away in extended Respite, her back is being very troublesome indeed…….

Meantime, back to the main topic. ChickPea herself would very much like to Whittle Weight Off Own Waist. (what waist…?..). We are gradually managing it with Mr Mutt, who became decidedly podgy for a while – and he is now bouncing much more often when he’s out for his constitutionals. (See him this morning – WOW !) ChickPea had hoped the regular exercise would do it for her too – but no…………. Meantime PK has proven that weight loss is possible and done an incredibly good job in trimming down. Looks great and seems to have settled now into his new shape (tho not sure if he’s bouncing like Mr Mutt). Quite Inspirational. Had hoped it might be a ‘catching’ thing…….. but no sign of it so far……….

In ChickPea’s teens/twenties/even thirties she had absolutely NO difficulties with ‘overweight’ or even 'minor flab'. Now it just won’t budge.

Any handy hints/ top tips ?

The Tender Touch

How often do you touch someone ? Anyone ? How often are you touched ?

The world seems to divide into 3 groups over touching – those who touch readily, those who just don’t – and those who are learning to touch…….

ChickPea grew up in a family which didn’t touch each other very much at all. There Were Reasons For This which became known very much later. But it meant that she found physical contact very VERY difficult. Anxiety would arise. Didn’t help the teenager find friends. Didn’t do much for the ‘twenty-and-thirty-something’ desperate for a partner.

But teenage years did introduce 2 very lovely people into ChickPea’s life who were ‘Touchers’. They touched everyone – in an honest, unaffected, positive, non-threatening, kind, affirming sort of way. And she learned to cope with being touched. And Life became more positive. And gradually, she realized that Life could be further enriched by touching others.

When she moved away from home to a far city, ‘being touched’ happened less often. But she was now training to be a professional ‘toucher’ for others. When she finished training, and gained confidence in her work, she developed a deep respect and awareness of the therapeutic aspects of touch. Assessing how to best touch each and every patient was a challenge – but respect, care, encouragement and affirmation were all clearly part of the contact experienced. Touch people in the right way for them and they responded positively, did what they were asked and they got better ! – they even got well and left hospital. If ChickPea got it wrong, or ‘inherited’ people who had been touched less than kindly, they would not co-operate, and treatments were difficult. What was great was when people who initially found such contact difficult discovered they could cope with being touched, and they recovered too.

For some, recovery was never going to be possible. But for them, Touch was still therapeutic, and positive and caring and kind and oh – so very welcome. They often needed to touch, in thanks.

Out in The World Outside, the population still has anxiety about ‘touch’ – well, I guess it is about the implications of touch, really. If you but read the news you know how ‘Touch’, in all its inherent innocence and purity, has been and is being abused. Many people ‘back off’ if they think you might touch them.

I guess that’s maybe where Christ’s disciples were at when Jesus was in a crowd and Someone Touched His Cloak. The disciples just didn’t quite ‘get’ it. That there is touch, and touch. That you can bump into someone, and nothing is shared, nothing is gained. But there’s other times…….

And there’s times…….. some times……… when all you want is to be touched, or to touch…..to be held, or to hold. And you long that the ‘dare to’ be transformed into ‘ok to’.

Oh the Sheer Joy when able to find such trust, caring and kindness in a friendship. That you can share a hug, and hold and touch, is just so, so precious and so very wonderful a thing……….

Touch. One of the 5 Senses. A God-given gift.

Yes, ChickPea still finds ‘touching’ a challenge.