Depths of Doldrum Duvet.......

ChickPea is wandering around in the Doldrums and has lost her map at the moment. Somewhat bogged down and struggling to find a way forward thru tangled briars, bindweed and stinging nettles…..

It is a well known fact of Life that unresolved anger can hide quietly in the internal dustbin until a new, maybe exceedingly trivial annoyance, lifts the lid and allows the whole shebang to explode with a response completely out of proportion to the triggering incident.  I grew up with a Much Loved who held such anger, and it is not an easy one to live alongside.

But I don’t think I had realized that Disappointments and Sadnesses can have a similar cumulative effect. 

Disappointments and Sadnesses can appear to have been fully  accepted, dispersed and assimilated into your Life’s Rich Tapestry……… but nonetheless there can be a heap of accumulating disappointments getting bigger when you’re not looking – you’re just doing your best to get on with survival and putting one foot in front of the other. …..

And THEN there’s the possibility that such a heap will reach a point where it just topples over and overwhelms you…….

Horrid “illness” bugs, working too many hours in the week, childlessness, bereavements, lost jobs, missed opportunities, public ‘fluffs’ in rare solo singing opportunities,  friendships that have foundered – or seem to be foundering, personal potential that hasn’t found a way of nurture or development …….. generally accumulated clutter.............. and far, FAR too much rain………. and, no doubt, age and hormones………

 All of these seem to feature in ChickPea’s current landscape, blotting out blessings and blurring perspective.  Most had been lying down, so quietly slipping under the radar…….. seemingly ‘sorted’ (as Glasgow would put it) ……but ALL now jumping around with great vigour ....... proving a little tricky to handle and impossible to ignore………… worse to catch and deal with even than recalcitrant hens ……..

I guess some sunshine would help………. (it would certainly help the hens).

So I guess this is by way of apology to all who have any contact with me……… I haven’t been blogging, I haven’t been visiting around the blogosphere, I haven’t been my usual interested, outgoing and affirming self, I really haven’t been much fun to live with, and, I guess, I haven’t fully been ME……. 

I know the grass will grow over all, but it may take a bit longer yet to create a lawn ………

A Most Mighty Mystery

For much of my life, the ‘Easter Season’ has been a major focal point of my life.  Lent, Holy Week and so to Easter…….. a yearly recurrence with ecclesiastically structured prompts of silence and solitude to stop, review, reflect, assess and reassess ……  meeting myself……..who I am…… what I am……… where I am at ……..  Not an easy process, and rarely a comfortable or enjoyable undertaking.  But, sure as light follows darkness and eggs is eggs, this time of year seems to require of me a certain engagement with the essence of mortality…… a kind of ‘head to head’ with fundamental reality. 

For me, this Lent has involved a looking back over my shoulder, whispers from the past, glimpsed shadows of The Loved But Lost  who have passed on to eternity …….. renewed recognition that Water Passes Under The Bridge, and the twigs and ‘Pooh sticks’ of everyday existence catch in the reeds for a moment, then swirl away out of sight and into the far distance………….        The hopes and dreams of what the future just might hold fading in the harsh glare of Time’s headlights.

And so we reached Palm Sunday last weekend, then on into Holy Week. 

Today we approached the Maundy Thursday liturgy.  Stark contrasts of a rich sung mass (this year to be the Rheinberger setting) with the slightly embarrassing simplicity of feet being washed; the clash of fancy ornate robes and vestments with the everyday action of taking, breaking and sharing bread and wine.  So much Big, Bright, Shiny and Lavish……. and then the shocking and harsh removal of all our accustomed church furnishings and embellishments ……..  the solemn procession to a symbolic garden……. and then a darkened, chastened church…… and silent vigil …. the waiting for the end of it …….

So it would be, as so many times before.  The rituals stirring up the hearts and minds and feelings of the assembled congregation in so many ways……. some engrossed in the act of worship…….  others just there for the music….. some appalled at the time it was all taking…….    others perplexed by the sheer drama……. Tumultuous, as at Gethsemane.

So it would be, and, I guess, so it was. 

TH has been floored by an ‘upper respiratory tract infection’ for the last two weeks or so, sore throat, hacking cough, sleepless nights, papertrail of tissues…….. not a chance for him of singing the glorious Rheinberger this time. 

Ten days behind him, finally feeling flesh succumbing to the inevitable last Sunday,  I thought I would at least manage to be a part of the assembly tonight.  Rehearsing tonight I realised this hope was futile.  The voice was strained, and though in tune (so far as the dull deaf ear could tell) was probably not particularly pleasant and doubtless far from reliable. Risk assessment  for the occasion indicated strategic withdrawal was mandatory.

So I took the dog out to romp with her canine companions in the gathering dusk, marvelled at the beauty of first-laid eggs from our junior hens, and moped with my husband. 

Head to head with the disappointment and devastation of not being where I wished to be, nor doing what I wanted, and not even feeling up to returning later on to creep in to the dim and desolate silence, finally sheds yet another perspective upon fragile Mortality.

NB. Backing up your computer – just DO it………….

As Scotland finds snow and low temperatures* are maintaining a vice-like grip, my computer has been rebuilt and I can now get online again……….. 

The hard drive turned up its toes in a terminal fashion just days before we went to Kirkcudbright for a brief holiday.  TH kindly arranged replacement surgery while we were away, and then dealt with loading of the many essentials and necessaries (what a kind and lovely guy he is), so now I am tracing lost email addresses, etc …….. and finding this requires more time and energy than is available  just now.  It all demonstrates, rather too well, that backing up your computer is never a waste of time………

(*Temperature of -10 degrees centigrade at 5pm this evening)

Bramble counting sheep on holiday near Kirkcudbright (with thanks to gordonrasmith for the photograph)

And NOW.........

Dearest Reader - Greetings.  Sorry to be away so long.  Here is a ‘catch-up’.

My left arm is now nearly healed after the final fracas 3 weeks ago with the Springer/collie cross dog that we had been trying to re-home.  My right hand is healed but quite sore at times after the first fracas within 24 hours of his arrival with us 6 weeks previously.  He is a beautiful dog, an excellent retriever of tennis balls, and shows strong evidence of some previous obedience training - but he also has serious issues which the Dogs’ Trust at West Calder promised would be addressed carefully before they would consider any attempt to re-home him again.  (So I am not at all sure why he was re-advertised just 2 weeks after we had returned him with a full and honest report.  I sincerely hope he doesn’t bite again, because he wasn’t messing about).

We now have another new 4-footed member of the family.  She is a black,13 and a half-weeks’ old, Standard Poodle puppy called ‘Bramble’, who went on holiday with us to the Ardnamurchan Peninsula for a few days, and is just gorgeous!  She is fantastically soft, very cuddly, will now (usually) ‘sit’ to command and has learnt ’lie down’ over the past 2 days, retrieve a ball from across the room, stay dry all night till her toilet trip into the garden the next morning, and falls asleep whenever the chance arises.............

Last Saturday saw us take a trip towards Biggar to replenish our depleted feathered flock, returning home with 3 new hens, currently too young to lay.  However, Meena did NOT appreciate newcomers to the coop, shouting her disgust to everyone within earshot......... continuously......... this was upsetting the 3 newbies, upsetting both human heads of the household, and in serious danger of upsetting the neighbours. Meena can also be a bit of a bully, and the smallest bird, at just 14 weeks, is still really quite small and likely to be quite vulnerable.  So Meena and Myna were removed to a box in the back room for the first night, being returned to the outside run an hour after the others were up in the morning.  Myna got on with having her breakfast, but Meena was still not having it.  Continuous shouting saw her returned to the indoor box for the morning.

Rapid arrangement of alternative accommodation for the 2 mature birds was necessary, to give the newbies chance to settle in and grow a bit bigger before the Big 2 get back to the regular henhouse again. The shed was therefore emptied to find the spare pen and erect this next to the house, with a new carpet of bark chippings, feed, water and a night/laying shelter for Meena and Myna.  The established henhouse and run was also cleaned out and refurbished with fresh bark, feed and water for the newbies. 

A couple of hours remaining before Evensong allowed re-potting of the geraniums for over-wintering indoors. There had been ice on the car windscreen that morning, so this seemed like a good move.  We will do the same for our lovely bay tree once we have some fresh compost - having barely survived the low temperatures of last winter it probably has no chance at all of getting through another winter outside..... tho survival indoors is probably also unlikely .......

Master Catlet thought the whole proceedings were for his entertainment, creeping around and checking out the newcomers – these were ‘perching’, so were evidently ‘birds’ and required serious scrutiny, as opposed to the ground-loving older hens who are noted for standing their ground when Bart gets closer than they consider respectable.

Bramble wanted to join in too and ensure a riotous melee....... She was most disgruntled to find herself removed to the kitchen until all activities had been completed.

What hilarity ! 

We have yet to settle into a harmonious routine.  Further re-arrangement of hen-housing will be necessary for the winter, as the back of the garden is further away and quite chilly when the temperature drops.  Names are being discussed. And we have the luxury of another week of holiday to be scheduled before the end of the year - hoping for a few days near Kirkcudbright to give Bart his first holiday and allow  Bramble to run on the beach every day.

I shall try to be back soon.  All best wishes, x

Staying Awake on a (late) Summer’s Afternoon

(With considerable difficulty, that is.....) 

These past few weeks have been hectic.  Hannimal Hector the new hound requires some serious behaviour modification, especially where golden Labradors are concerned.  Also in terms of basic handling (difficult to manage a dog with a cut paw if he doesn’t like his feet being touched), basic walking on a lead, relaxation when there’s more than one person in his company, and grooming. 

Who knows the ‘Why’ – perhaps inadequate basic handling when he was a puppy, perhaps an attack by a golden Labrador - but certainly all this needs to be remedied before we will have a dog we can even trust a little.  Dog Behaviourists appear to abound on the internet – tho credibility and qualification seem rather less available.  As the Dogs’ Trust have an in-house ‘behaviour advisor’, we have made arrangements and an appointment to gain guidance ASAP, well aware that we may inadvertently be presenting conflicting or inconsistent demands without realizing that we are so doing. 

In the longer term we are planning to attend Dog-person Training Classes (aware that these occasional signs of aggression need to be a thing of the past by then) and hope that occasional forays towards Agility Classes may be good for body and mind (as these sessions appear to clash with choir rehearsals, he’ll have to make do with ‘occasional’ I’m afraid).

Get-along-ability with the Feline Fella is making (rather slow but) steady progress – lots of space-sharing (initiated by cat, including managing to spend the night in the dog’s kitchen when ChickPea was away), and respectful nose-to-nose sniffing (initiated by both dog and by cat).

Today a new sleeping place has come into the house.  Bought for Dog, (as we will be going away on for a few nights’ holiday and a moveable ‘known’ bed seems like a good idea to help Dog cope with more new experiences) Cat was into it just moments after it was accessible, checked it out carefully and pronounced that it could stay. Surprisingly he then settled elsewhere, allowing Dog to take possession.

Peace has now settled upon us – TH asleep on the sofa, Big Cat asleep on the chair, and Hector Hound snuggled into his new bed.  Disturbing the harmonious silence to initiate dog walk in the park can wait another five minutes........

Time for a Randomized Controlled Double-Blind Trial......

A friend was ‘talking scientific’ the other day, and describing their need to organize life somewhat and double check recent experience and insight by conducting a related double-blinded randomized controlled trial.

As you may know, if you have followed this blog, my former life – before I became a fulltime carer – was closely aligned with clinical practice based on insight from scientific trials.  I realised there was something missing from my current life........

Anyhow..........

Tonight is Friday.  Monday is a Public Holiday.

So...... Tonight I decided to run my OWN double-blinded randomized controlled trial. 

Test substance :    fine bottle of Vintage Port

Randomized :        glass is being put anywhere within reasonable reach – aiming to be at least 90 degrees re-aligned each placement

Controlled:            because I measure the liquid very VERY carefully into the glass .... none spilled ........ 150mls each pouring.....

Double-Blinded :  Yup, I’m keeping ma eyes closed each time ah swallow..... ( I guess I COULD wear a blindfold, but it'd make pouring inaccurate........)

“How’s it going ?”

Very nicely, Thank You.  Thanks for calling by – have a great weekend.     x

A Few Brief Brush Strokes......

Greetings.  Apologies for absence. 

Last  Friday we went out to a local venue to hear the “Brass Monkeys” in action – a while since we’d had the pleasure, and a great pleasure it was too.  Brass instruments played with great aplomb, enthusiasm and expertise.  A very good evening out.  (Apart from not eating before we got there, and discovering that they don’t do food of an evening.........)

Saturday was “Chooks Re-location Day” – for the summer they move away from the shelter of the house and conservatory, down to the bottom of the garden (ie. a total travelling distance of about 20 feet !) – affording the hens more scope for sunbathing, a much more interesting outlook over the garden to view visiting cats/foxes/etc, better circulation of air currents, and much easier exit from the run when opportunities arise.  The hens had a fine time, and Eena, who had been looking decidedly ‘out of sorts’ most of the week, and had a few nights in the house along the way, was back to digging about with the best of them.  As for the peoples – well, we get chance to use the paved area next to the house again.  Maybe the BBQ will get dusted off this year......... 

Sunday started at 5am, with the chooks shouting their heads off......VERY loudly  (had they forgotten they’d re-located on Saturday ?).  Then was the usual programme of rehearsal, Sung Sunday Services,  and a fine sermon from the Provost (was it a good holiday then ?).  Tea and cake with friends in the afternoon.  A little light refreshment at the end of the evening.  (Why else would you sing ?)

After this weekend excitement, 9 month old Master Bart Catlet got hisself stuck up a tree on Monday night..........all we knew was that he took hisself out in the early evening, full of the joys and Master of the Universe.  He then didn’t come home before darkness crept in, and no sight nor sound was evident as we examined every area within reach.  Well, you can guess how the night went on....... late to bed in case he showed up...... TH was out looking for him at 3am......... Chickpea was checking around at 5am......... then out at 6am to check for RoadKill before the clearer-uppers would have been out..........  No Sign.   Mr Mutt got longer walks both evening and morning than usual, covering the likely area of disappearance.  Time to head out to work....... Then, a wee small cry.  Both consistent in response to encouragement, and verified by TH.  ......... Finally traced to Up A Tree.  Not a particularly LARGE tree.  But in Someone Else’s Garden, and high enough to be out of reach.  But – Pathetic.  Yup. “Heeeeeeellllllppppp !  I can’t get down !  Saaaaaaaaaaaaaave me !”  (Honest – you could hear him – thinking out loud, he was !) 

Eventually separated from high perch, returned to terra firma, food, and sleeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppp............

The other end of the day brought us a house guest.  TH had become aware of a fine long-furred grey tabby stray from a local housing scheme, thin, bedraggled, matted coat, bad breath, unkempt and uncared for............ One vet visit and several pounds’ transaction later, with an anaesthetic booking arranged for ‘grooming’ and teeth review, flea and worm treatments......... and the menagerie had increased .......  temporarily ?  Time would tell.  TH having a certain tendency to cat allergy would be a factor........

Cat smiled......... and scoffed anything that came his way......... and purred...... and purred.........

Meantime, Bart scowled, cursed and swore.  Mr Mutt retreated to his bed and hoped none would bother him.......  TH succumbed to the viral infection which had probably been out enjoying the Brass Monkeys’ gig at The Ferry last Friday.......

And so to today - Ascension Day.  Next step along the way thru the Liturgical Year.  TH somehow managed to shake off his virus enough to sing, (Miracles certainly DO still happen), but has set off away to The Land of Nod.  Now nearing Midnight, Guest Cat has washed his feet for the night and is hoping to be allowed to stay, please........ Bolshy Bart is at the lounge door feeling unloved and abandoned (and probably hoping for some more supper)......... Mr Mutt has his head down, hoping someone will put the light out......... Domestic bliss.   ChickPea has bored you silly – Thank You for calling by. Have a Great Friday and a Fab Weekend ! 

High Jinks, Holy Days, Consecration, Celebration and Community

This past week (and more) has been a time of great preparation for Saint George’s Day (yesterday - Friday) and for tomorrow (Sunday). If you are a Church singer-person, a church-flower-arranger-person, a church-server/steward/organist/cleaner/administrator-person, or any other variety of person-in-the-pew-type-person, you may well have insight and understanding of this phenomenon of preparation for a Notable Church Event. The best ones see church folk exploring concepts of community – AND still speaking to each other - as they wield mops, dusters, polish and glass cleaner to ensure clean and sparkling surroundings, whilst administrator-persons type Drafts 1 – 10 of the Order of Service, negotiate the many minefields of ticket allocation, and arrange marquees, seating and coat hangers, and senior clergy meantime dream nightmares of Everything Being Other Than Ideal, and pass sleepless nights planning processions.

Yesterday the Scottish Episcopal Church was adding a new member to our College of Bishops, drawing clergy and others from not only our local diocese of Glasgow and Galloway, but from all over Scotland and – despite the best efforts of a certain volcano in Iceland – a few visitors managed to arrive from across the seas as well to join the gathering.

A Local was wielding his camera, and has produced a most creditable collection of photographs of the proceedings, which you can find here.

The High Jinks continued today as ChickPea weeded and re-arranged pots, and TH heroically wrestled with the lawnmower to achieve the first cut of the season (anyone able to recommend a small but reliable lawn mower ? – our current machine needs to be pensioned off to the Local Dump........).

Tomorrow evening we look forward to welcoming singers from around the diocese to a collective Choral Evensong for further Celebration to welcome Gregor as Bishop. 

Do join us at 6.30pm for the service – you, too, will be most welcome.

And now Sunday 18th............eveningtime......

Fascinating programme on TV just now about historical maps – some, despite exceeding age, being astonishingly accurate when compared with today’s editions.  Wow !

Tired.  Very tired.  Lots of singing this weekend, away from the home patch all day yesterday, then on usual duties on home territory today; not enough sunshine, and seriously depleted sleep Friday night/Saturday morning - a police helicopter hovering overhead from somewhere around 3am until about 4.20am  (because of a local Incident) dragging us to some semblance of consciousness from the Land of Nod for the duration, and for some (much too much) time after.  

Managed a couple of hours’ work in the garden this afternoon, energy levels seriously lacking.  Grass now growing rapidly, so will have to engage with the lawn mower sooner than had been expected.  With the new Bishop’s Consecration now sprinting into view for Friday, I guess the grass will achieve somewhat of a head start on me again this year, unless the chooks manage to trash the lawn as thoroughly as they did last year.......... Two out of the four of them managed to get away through to the next door neighbour’s garden this afternoon – luckily they remembered how scrummy tinned sweetcorn tastes, so were lured back home without undue incident.

Now you know how exciting my life is, you’ll understand why blogging has been a little sparse recently.  

Thank you for visiting – Live Long And Prosper  (as Mr Spock would say).  x

Sunday 11th

Cor..................SUNSHINE.........BLUE SKY.............not a cloud in sight............and so warm we needed the fan on in the conservatory – a friend told me that it was warmer here in Glasgow today than in Athens................. cor................

Maybe the SADs will depart for a while.............. (That’d be good).

Hope today has been a good one for you, and that tomorrow will be better. Loadsaluv, x

Easter Monday

Dull, wet and cold. Internal atmosphere in sync. The morning after the night before.

This has been an excellent Easter at the Cathedral.

All the pomp, ceremony and fine music making from which the Episcopalian tradition takes such inspiration and delight; all the angst, confusion, bustle and conflict that today’s interpretation of Liturgy seeks to encompass in order to encourage the gathered community to engage in the deeper aspects of the proceedings; and all the preparation, effort and application that are required to make all this happen.

Of course, each of us can pick at the whole to find faults and shortcomings – we’re all exceedingly accomplished critics, enjoy engaging our heads in dissection of each service that we have attended, as well as a few that we didn’t, and staunchly both exercise and defend this right of critique...... ‘This was too long’. ‘That was too disorganized’. Something else ‘lacked solemnity’.....'had too much waiting around' or was 'too simplistic'.....

All are excellent defences guaranteed to distract our attention from perceiving the essential truths and personal inspirations which are ALSO available.

The hens are out, seeking Tasties. Nothing escapes attention. Everything can be turned over, pecked at, dug into, or otherwise investigated in depth. Try it and see if it’s good. (Who knows what you might find ?)

All it takes is a little positive attention and focus.

Sorting Socks..........

One of the delights of a life NOT working as a clinician in a busy city hospital, is waking up on a Good Friday morning, and knowing that you do not have to go in to work. That you can have a bit of a lie in listening to the radio, a relaxed breakfast, a few hours of ‘morning’, and then the option of attending the 3 hours’ service. After working with the NHS for 28 years non-stop, this awareness still arrives with surprise, and a certain degree of pleasure.

This year, an unexpected phonecall both gave great pleasure and resulted in an earlier breakfast than anticipated. Thereafter, the Gathering Of Household Chores were clamouring for attention.

So it was that the Sorting Of Socks became paramount.

CLEAN socks can be disciplined in a drawer, resting - but ready for immediate action. After wearing, amassing socks awaiting communal cleansing can be hidden away – discreetly - in a laundry basket. Clean but damp socks will be found festooning the best drying areas available, until adequate dehydration has been accomplished.

The next bit is where the process dawdles. Serried ranks, sock upon sock, shoulder to shoulder, of multitudinous vintage, sex. patternation and colour need to be re-united with a twin........which MUST be there..........SOMEWHERE........

However you tackle it, there is a need to Sort Socks. Maybe you sort them as you hang them to dry. Or pair them up as you take them down. Or take them down in a heap and sit in the sunshine Sorting Socks.

In the early days of the ChickPea/TH household, TH found Christmas to be A Time Of Socks. Seasonal Santa Socks, and the like joining and re-invigorating the party on a regular basis. (Such Socks may not be ‘cool’ in the office, but they brighten up a dull morning when you’re hanging up socks to dry, and make ‘pairing up’ a doddle). After several years of easy Christmas shopping for ChickPea, TH put the foot down and Such Socks Seest – sorry, ceased.

Hence, drowning in the mire of Sorting Socks, ChickPea overlooked both the little hand AND the big hand reaching 12 on Good Friday, so crept in late to the 3 hour service. Woops.........

(We’ll need to track down some of these racy numbers with patterned heels and toes that were out and about at the Foot Washing on Maundy Thursday).

Hen-y Thoughts

The chooks are getting much happier as Spring enters the year, and we are now daily finding three eggs from between the four of them. Warmer ambient temperatures are doubtless a factor, along with longer daylight hours, and increasing amounts of sunshine – plus getting out to roam around (and trash) the garden. Last Friday they got the double whammy of OUT plus SUNSHINE – considered by Eena and Meena as ideal ingredients for a spot of dust bathing. Myna and Moe, meantime, were more interested in scratching about to find any unexpected edible goodies (we’ll not go any further in pursuit of the details). Mr Mutt was sleeping in a sunny spot near the hedge (a good place to dissuade local foxes from visiting), and Master Moglett was bouncing about, climbing trees, chasing shadows and eating the crocuses.

The whole scene was so relaxing, household chores got put on ‘hold’ and ChickPea sat on the dustbin for half an hour.

See the focussed effort invested in dust bathing ? Phenomenal ! And much as you may doubt the ability of a feathered face with a beak to reveal any expression whatsoever, those two hens were in seventh heaven in a state of sheer bliss.

The mind freeflows in sunshine.

First thing in the morning, the hens tend to shout a fair bit – until we appear and reassure them that they are not forgotten, not being ignored, not being taken for granted, and not going to miss breakfast ! In fact, their positive response to any attention, however fleeting, is quite remarkable.

Quite a lesson for relationships, really.

Wiz Needin’ Time Oot..............

Life has been fairly non-stop over the last few months. Energy levels have been up and down like a yo-yo........ great that the ‘ups’ are kind of happening again, but the recurrent low energy factor means that household requirements have been mostly on ‘hold’............... All in all, much like a ‘post-viral’ picture............ noting there have been plenty of recent viruses to choose from ! TH appears to have been getting the evening low energy experience too, and also has a recent history of recurrent infections.

Wiz more than Time Fer A Break. Aye, you could say that. We were both needing time to sleep, read, sleep, eat, sleep, take Mr Mutt for his constitutional, sleep, eat, sleep.............

Last 3 occasions we’ve had the time booked to do just that, the Health Horrors have struck, plus or minus Winter Weathers, and all hopes of ‘holiday’ have run aground. So, booking time away from work at the beginning of March seemed like a safe bet for being past the main risks of these...........

Ha ! The road North of our holiday destination was BLOCKED by snow just two days before we were due to leave ........ and then TH developed the sore throat, snuffles and green grot indicating another infection.........

NONETHELESS, we decided we were ‘All Systems Go’........... an’ off we went to sunny Perthshire.

I jest not.

Wall to wall blue sky and the most glorious SUNSHINE from awakening to sundown, Monday to Thursday (inclusive) – and who’s worried about a bit of ‘dull’ on Friday when you’re heading home anyway !

The snow was still lying, deep (about 3 foot of it), crisp (low overnight temperatures keeping it frozen enough that the sheep were toddling about on the top of it safely, with little risk of finding how deep it was), and pretty even really.

We were staying the first few days in a fine cottage near Pitlochry, and were most grateful to find that the steps and path up to the cottage had all been beautifully cleared of snow. The three feet of frozen snow and ice between the car (parked as close /as far up the drive as we could get) and the bottom step seemed of little consequence – tho’ was quite enough to fell ChickPea, luckily without injury. That’s now been three unexpectedly close encounters with terra firma over the last two years – more than enough to emphasize the ‘ageing’ factor, and bring to mind the transitory nature of Life’s brief candle.

There was then some serious pampering of the taste buds on the banks of Loch Tay with the same excellent accommodation, high class service and friendly welcome that had so impressed us on our first visit last year.

This is now the second week back to work after the holiday, TH having been off sick from Wednesday lunchtime with the bug that finally took hold once we got home (thankfully didn’t ruin his holiday). So now it’s my turn. As the choir has a date with the BBC for recording on Friday evening, I hope it moves on rapidly..........

BirdWatch Weekend

This is the last weekend of January, and the RSPB has again requested an hour spent counting birds. So here I was, between morning service and evensong, relaxing in our lovely conservatory, yawning in the sunshine I confess, and counting all sizes of feathered visitors. And keeping young Monster Mr Mog under lock and key, of course. His birdwatching is certainly enthusiastic, but seems likely to have a rather different ‘end agenda’ to that requested by the RSPB............

We had fully stocked up the feeders and bird table in the glorious sunshine this morning, knowing it’d be this afternoon before I could sit down for the count. And then, at last, the time had arrived.......

What a rare treat these days.

When DJ was with us he loved sitting out in the conservatory, a great addition to the house that greatly increased our quality of life by enhancing our regular awareness and contact with the Outside World. When DJ first moved in he would spend most of his day, every day, sitting out here and enjoying the visits of so many different bird species. When he needed constant care it became a great treat for me to be able to sit down and share this haven with him. But as his dementia steadily got worse, DJ sadly lost touch with such gentle peace and pleasure from the creatures around him.

Yes. Today it was good to spend time in the conservatory.

TH and I have been very aware that the numbers of our garden’s feathered visitors have been declining over the last few years – but what a shock to realize that we have had fewer than twenty birds visiting over this last hour, with a group of just five birds (chaffinches, as it happened) being the largest group at any one time – as opposed to several years’ previously when counting eight or more birds at a time before they flew off was a real challenge.......

So what DID we find this year ? Sadly – no collared doves, no starlings, no blackbirds, no house sparrows...... and, sadly, very few others. Just two robins, one magpie, one great tit, one coal tit..... I nearly stopped counting early, too – but it was worth waiting for those very last two minutes of the hour – those final moments fleetingly brought a second bluetit AND a second long-tailed tit into view and into my final figures – both of these were in groups of several birds together last year.

All thanks to the RSPB for their work and attention to these lovely creatures..........

being with.....

Like many – maybe most – folk, ChickPea finds it difficult to give or share when she’s struggling with the landscape. Doesn’t like landing stuff on other people. Feels it’s her own muddle to unravel, her own mess to sort out, and her own clutter to sift through.

Recently there has been a lot of ice to traverse, some slippery, some thin........ Now there’s mud, clogging forwards progress, and fog, distorting view and perspective...... what she needs is some sunshine.........

Recent terrain can make her quite difficult company. Sometimes there’s just not quite enough energy to go around and invest in everything she wants to.....

That she has kind, considerate and caring friends is a most wonderful blessing.

2010....... Wot a larf........

Welcome to another New Year – and merriment abounds. It must be related to the season – these Twelve Days of Christmas an’ a’ that, Partridges in Pear Trees and Leaping Lords, Swimmin’ Swans an’ Callin’ Birds – especially the Callin’ Birds........... I’d not be surprised if YOU heard our Eena, Meena, Mina and Moe this mornin’ – wot a bloomin’ racket

One of the blogs I really enjoy paying a visit to is The Cottage Smallholder. If you enjoy anything related to cooking, kitchens, gardens, dogs, hens – well, Life The World And Everything, really - then you might like to meet Fiona and Danny too. They are currently hosting a competition which will end on the Twelfth Day of Christmas, seeking latecomers to The Chefs’ and Gardeners’ Ball – do pay them a visit and see who you can introduce !

Meantime, despite The Lurgies of 2009 which moved in and took up residence here with TH and ChickPea through the last few weeks (or was it months ? – certainly felt like it), causing change to our plans to be away for the New Year Festivities, and even now still sapping our energy levels and abolishing any concepts of stamina – despite all, here’s us, sailing hopefully forwards into the dawn of 2010........

Now, approximately 20 years since first meeting......... 14 years post-wedding............. yet, ASTONISHINGLY, somehow still together, despite the everyday Turmoils, Trials And Tribulations Of Life which have crept in, evolved or erupted along our way through sunshine, dark corridors, good times, dashed hopes, joys, disappointments, happy times, sadnesses and fleeting moments of fulfilment.........

And STILL not a clue about what it’s all about........... Marriage, Life, Blog or ANYTHING...... really.............

Except................

Except that it is always good to meet people, in Real Life or Virtual Reality – or WHEREVER, really...... Good to meet and share a little........... moments, thoughts........... a bit of kindness..............a hand along the way............

Here’s hoping 2010 will hold good times for all of us, and kind company when we need it.

Season’s Greetings

Kerumbs.......

Has it really been so long since I blethered on The Blog..... must be. Apologies – I’d not intended to neglect you. I guess the energy has been directed into new job, developing some sort of working relationship with approx 80 working colleagues plus surviving several consecutive infecting Lurgies.......

Anyway......

Here we are, nearing Christmas. Printing problems have made us revert to the ‘D-I-Y Christmas Card’ approach again this year, emailing most of our regular Christmas Contacts.......the postals will have to accept what we could get around the corner........when I eventually get them written and posted............

Yesterday was full of wow factor yesterday. The transformation of the cathedral from the sombre tones of Advent into the pzaz decor for the carol service is visually quite a remarkable feat. However, I’m not sure if I’d ever fully appreciated the integral humour within the transformation process........ but hey – see for yourself by visiting Kelvin’s blog ! (oh, and by the way, there’s a soundtrack too !)

Faith. Fully.

I’m not sure I often wave the flag when I peek over the top of my parapet to gaze askance at the world around me.

I guess I tend to think that my faith is so integral to who I am that I don’t actually NEED to wave the flag about it very often. On the other hand, being a fully fledged cathedral chorister for rather more years than I care to add up, and wardrobe manager to boot, is perhaps a thinly disguised alternative flag that I wave very regularly indeed without noticing........

Tonight’s service at St M’s was a place apart. Faure’s Requiem was the music on offer for All Souls’ Day, and another ‘first’ for our treble choir who joined the regular adult choir for the occasion. And the trebles stepped up to the mark and conjured up a most spectacular ‘Pie Jesu’ for us all. Competently. Spectacularly. Our Director of Music deserved accolades from On High.

But, tho notable, that was far from all we shared this evening. The serving team had paid attention to all the necessary details that most of us are completely unaware of when a good job is accomplished, and the visual gloom that results from too few light bulbs remaining fully operative provided the sort of atmospheric lighting that we generally yearn for at this time of year but rarely quite achieve......

Most seats were occupied in the cathedral, and methinks the shadows were far from empty......

Once again our Chief Pastor demonstrated his liturgical ability by planning and facilitating the whole, and his priestly expertise by dealing quietly, most gently and sensitively with each and every demand of the evening.

This service was undoubtedly One Of Those Times when the step between Here and There was a remarkably small one.....