Reluctant Christian

It occurs that maybe I mis-named this blog. Maybe I should re-name it the name of this post. ‘RC’, even. (Now, THAT might be fun – limitless potential for confusion - I’m sure I could find all sorts of interpretations of ‘RC’, eh .....)

So why didn’t I ? Come to that, why don’t I........... why won’t I ?

Part of it is the intervening history of this label ‘Christian’. Christ, the historical person, MUST have been quite a man. To have influenced individual people to such a degree that they gave their lives to take His teaching throughout the world and effect such an impact upon the globe, the Man Who Started It All MUST have been Quite A Man.

But also over the intervening hundreds – ok, thousands - of years , many, many crimes have been committed under the banner of ‘Christianity’. Do I REALLY want to be associated with such a history by embracing the label of ‘Christian’ ?

You see where I’m coming from ?

But what of ‘The Man’ – that astonishing figure that started it all – without the assistance of newspaper, TV or internet.

And what of the remarkable people – both males and females - who have been astonished, inspired and motivated to positively influence, astonish and inspire the world – all through their own personal understandings and encounters with ‘The Man’. Many of whom gave up their lives because they refused to deny this faith.

Maybe I do feel reluctant – and perhaps scared – to wear the label of ‘Christian’. If this means ‘being Christ-like’, seeing the world ‘with the eyes of Christ’, caring as passionately about the world as did ‘The Man’ himself, extending love to those who need love - then rather a lot seems to be required.

So – REJECT all this ‘church’ and ‘Christ’ stuff - why bother with the whole ‘Christianity’ thing at all ?

Well....... there’s the heart of the question. Try as I have through the years to turn away from this way of life, the integral demands involved, the personal questions and challenges raised........... Try as I may, turn and run.....wherever........however............. whatever.......... I keep meeting the essential truth and challenge of ‘The Man’.......Christ himself........... and repeatedly encounter that amazing love that will not let you go..........

‘Reluctant Christian’ ? ........ Too right. But, somehow, and equally, ‘Committed Christian’.

High Jinks, Holy Days, Consecration, Celebration and Community

This past week (and more) has been a time of great preparation for Saint George’s Day (yesterday - Friday) and for tomorrow (Sunday). If you are a Church singer-person, a church-flower-arranger-person, a church-server/steward/organist/cleaner/administrator-person, or any other variety of person-in-the-pew-type-person, you may well have insight and understanding of this phenomenon of preparation for a Notable Church Event. The best ones see church folk exploring concepts of community – AND still speaking to each other - as they wield mops, dusters, polish and glass cleaner to ensure clean and sparkling surroundings, whilst administrator-persons type Drafts 1 – 10 of the Order of Service, negotiate the many minefields of ticket allocation, and arrange marquees, seating and coat hangers, and senior clergy meantime dream nightmares of Everything Being Other Than Ideal, and pass sleepless nights planning processions.

Yesterday the Scottish Episcopal Church was adding a new member to our College of Bishops, drawing clergy and others from not only our local diocese of Glasgow and Galloway, but from all over Scotland and – despite the best efforts of a certain volcano in Iceland – a few visitors managed to arrive from across the seas as well to join the gathering.

A Local was wielding his camera, and has produced a most creditable collection of photographs of the proceedings, which you can find here.

The High Jinks continued today as ChickPea weeded and re-arranged pots, and TH heroically wrestled with the lawnmower to achieve the first cut of the season (anyone able to recommend a small but reliable lawn mower ? – our current machine needs to be pensioned off to the Local Dump........).

Tomorrow evening we look forward to welcoming singers from around the diocese to a collective Choral Evensong for further Celebration to welcome Gregor as Bishop. 

Do join us at 6.30pm for the service – you, too, will be most welcome.

Season’s Greetings

Kerumbs.......

Has it really been so long since I blethered on The Blog..... must be. Apologies – I’d not intended to neglect you. I guess the energy has been directed into new job, developing some sort of working relationship with approx 80 working colleagues plus surviving several consecutive infecting Lurgies.......

Anyway......

Here we are, nearing Christmas. Printing problems have made us revert to the ‘D-I-Y Christmas Card’ approach again this year, emailing most of our regular Christmas Contacts.......the postals will have to accept what we could get around the corner........when I eventually get them written and posted............

Yesterday was full of wow factor yesterday. The transformation of the cathedral from the sombre tones of Advent into the pzaz decor for the carol service is visually quite a remarkable feat. However, I’m not sure if I’d ever fully appreciated the integral humour within the transformation process........ but hey – see for yourself by visiting Kelvin’s blog ! (oh, and by the way, there’s a soundtrack too !)

Knowing The Way

ChickPea is pondering…..again. How do folk know which way when travelling life’s paths ?

“Good morning chookies. What matters to you in Life ?”
“Who ? Us ? You’ll ask us what matters ? Well, there’s a thing…… oooh – there’s another one ! And if we scratch here….. and there…… we’ll find more things…… some of them good, and tasty, some not….. some lost, some well hidden……. And of course we’ll tell you all about it – everyone will hear about what we think……..”
“Ah. So you’d have been out front, outside, last Sunday, fluffing your feathers and strutting about, finding something to nag at………. And maybe missing the Fundamental Truth…… but With The Best Intention….. I'm not so sure you’re Episcopal hens after all…..””

“What about yourself, Mistress Mog – what helps you in life – you’re not a map reader – what tells you The Way ?”
“Ah, well. I’ve seen Things Change. The ups and the downs. My first move is – if it’s sunny, sit still in the sunshine. Rest. Enjoy. Stretch. Wash and brush up. If it looks right, and interesting, explore it. (Carefully). If it tastes right, eat up and be given nourishment.”
“I see. And if not…. ?”
“Ah. They say ‘Curiosity killed the cat’ – so I’ve been kinda careful. For nineteen years. If In Doubt – Sleep. Has been ok for me so far. Worked for DJ. Worked Out Right for him eventually.”
“I see you’ve found a deep truth there, Ms Mog.”

“And you, Mr Mutt ?”
“Me ? You noticed me ? Wow ! Well – I say that if the walk is going along a fine path, good view, interesting smells, I’ll go too. Head up, tail up, bright eyes, great smile. If I don’t like the look of it, I’ll dig my feet in, drag behind and question the whole package. Should certainly be able to eat it – or give it a try, anyway. A certain decorum is appropriate…….if it’s LOUD and noisy, I’ll likely vamoose – and go another route. Offskie…… Most important of all – it’s got to smell right.”

“Not so different from the last posting, eh.”

Uh huh. There’s maybe a grain or two of good seed here, amongst the weeds and rubbish. The Big Man Himself, all those years ago, would have fondled these beasts. And I’m sure Mr Mutt wouldn’t have bitten Him……..

Reality Shows

What’s this ? Is ChickPea a closet ‘Big Brother’ fan ? Or is she trying to ‘Look Good Naked’ ?

Ha ! – NO !!!!!!

She considers such so-called ‘Reality Shows’ something of a poser. These facile TV programmes seem to show the viewer everything except ‘reality’ – ok, it may be happening ‘now’, maybe even in ‘real time’ - but is so unbelievably contrived that ‘REAL’ is hardly an appropriate description………Unreal maybe…..

No. ChickPea has Something Else in mind. She’s thinking that ‘reality’ shows in so very many ways ….. not just the hard things we all meet in our lives (usually when we’d rather not….), but the kind words, thoughtful gestures, affirming embrace that so unexpectedly manifest……. all of which demonstrate something ‘Real’ about the interaction, the friendship…… something honest……… something true…… something Loving…….. and Lovely.

And, somehow, ‘Real’ will always get through, come to light, be seen…….. ‘show’.

And that, is good. Even five days later, despite all the fog of intervening Life, that is very, VERY good.

And THAT is what we met last Sunday when +Gene visited S Mary’s to both Celebrate The Mystery of Christ (and Christianity) and to preach The Word (and this latter so very firmly based upon the words of the day’s readings of the lectionary).

Both the Eucharist and the sermon were so, SO ‘Real’.

If anyone there had previously doubted the true Reality of the man – let alone of the bishop – meeting +Gene that day, hearing him speaking from the depths of his faith, experience and insight, seeing his pastoral care and concern for several beloved who spoke with him ….. any Such a person, like Thomas touching the nail prints, would have Seen, And Believed……..

And, astonishingly, this particular incident of Reality certainly seems to me to transcend the limitations of recording. (Unlike ‘Big Bro’).

See For Yourself at http://thecathedral.org.uk (on 'Home Page' select 'Spirituality' and 'Preaching') or through the haze from the incense of http://thurible.net

Monday Menu : ChickPea Risotto.......

Monday morning. DJ has just been taken away for the day – so I shall take a few minutes for personal therapy before tackling the day’s chores. TH is working late tonight, so there may be more time later on – we shall see.

Risotto – lots of bits and pieces, plenty for a meal. No recipe, just chuck it all in and stir well……..

Q. Did the car trip work and stop DJ fretting about a bus ?
A. Thank you for asking. Not really – no, that’s not quite honest – partially.
It had the effect of quietening the endlessly repetitive phrases for about an hour. It was also fairly therapeutic for me, in that I don’t drive so much these days as I used to, and there are turnings we go past that I fancy exploring. So as I had the car, This Was An Opportunity. We live in a major city – well, kinda suburbs of – but can be out past fields within 5 mins. (Apologies to The Environment – too many car fumes - not so therapeutic on that score, but, I am afraid, this was a Necessary And Lifesaving Manoeuvre ……). After about an hour, when ChickPea was beginning to count her chickens (figuratively speaking), DJ shot them down. From apparently settled, silent state, came : “Am I going to be able to catch the bus then ?” (NO)……. “Have I missed the bus ?” (YES) ……..”I need to get the bus” (WHY’S THAT THEN ?) “I don’t know”……. (THIS IS THE BUS – YOU ARE ON THE BUS)….. “But where do I catch the bus ?”…….
Then the seatbelt was off – Thank God for the childlock.
We got home after about 2 hours’ driving around fabulous countryside. DJ was being fairly quiet again – clutching onto the seat in front (honest – my driving really isn’t that bad…) – hmmmn - not exactly relaxed…... but ‘Aha’ thought ChickPea – ‘Situation Sorted’. .....

“When will I get the bus ?” sez DJ………

Q. Anything to Give Thanks For Today ?
A. Oh yes – thank you for reminding me - sleeping has been improving a little. DJ essentially slept thru (bar some shouting) from about 10pm until 7am yesterday and again last night. ChickPea’s problem now is that the Sleepometer – which was coping remarkably well in the middle of this last fortnight of Grossly Disrupted Sleep - now reckons it can give up coping, has plummeted to below ‘empty’ and is taking a bit of catching up…. And I do believe there’s Sunshine creeping thru the clouds out there.

Q. How was the w/e ?
A. Mixed. Saturday was fairly non-stop, trying to eliminate the pile of Essential Washing, accomplish Essential Chores, and keep DJ clothed. (This has been A Recent Feature – ‘sitting quietly’ – but removing bits of clothing – one afternoon last week, DJ was quiet in his room while ChickPea answered a phonecall, and next thing, there was DJ, not a stitch on, staggering through the house without his zimmer – ‘WHY ?’ – “I don’t know” sez DJ….) Saturday evening had A Bad Moment. I hate stepping in poo. Before Mr Mutt joined us, both TH and I were most indignant when ShoePoo happened. Since Mr Mutt joined us we are probably even more appalled when this happens, as responsible dogpersons do not allow this possibility to occur. But this was in DJ’s room. And Mr Mutt does not venture in there, nor does Ms Mog. That Bad Moment was NOT something I could share with TH, because he has to live here.
Sunday am and DG was with DJ for the service, enabling almost Full Participation for ChickPea – which was Good. A big, fabulous service with orchestra and Haydn’s Little Organ Mass. PK was back. DG, DA and DI were their usual lovely, kind, considerate, supportive selves. Lunch out is always good (especially re. No Cooking, No Washingup…) – we’ll overlook DJ being Increasingly Unpredictable In Public……. TH was then out with the cameras to cover an event loosely related to work, so Mr Mutt, The Wheelchair and I took DJ out into the park – where he fell asleep for a while. Necessary Clearing Up was then attempted as J was in from The Altzheimer’s Assocn to keep DJ company for the evening, allowing ChickPea a few blessed hours off for real Full Participation in a demanding sing but good evensong and post-sing-lubrication.

Guess that’ll do. My cooking skills are fairly rudimentary, I’m afraid. Hope taste was reasonable, not too chewy, probably about 2 out of 10 for presentation……. at least it wasn’t burnt…………

Tuesday.....

What a glorious sunny day we had yesterday for the Public-holiday Monday ! Hope you had good weather and a good weekend.

Was a Good Day here – TH and Mr Mutt were finally recovered from the Major Upsets they had experienced after eating a hotdog on their trip north to pursue necessary dealing with DJ’s flat. A hard enough job at the best of times. Anyway, Much Was Accomplished before the Unexpected Onset on their way home, and 48 hrs later recovery was progressing nicely.

Meantime DJ, Ms Mog and I chuntered on fairly steadily. Did I tell you that the hearing aid has finally arrived ? Wax prevents full reliable functioning – but (hopefully) that will get sorted out by the GP on Thursday. (Same problem with last 2 hearing aids – each time we waited weeks for the District Nurses to come along and sort out the wax problem to optimise hearing function and Quality Of Life……… when they finally arrived, they insisted there Was No Problem and – as guidelines say ‘don’t syringe’ – guess what ? – they wouldn’t syringe…….. I’m now told the wax is very deep and tho softened by our regular use of ear drops, will continue to further compromise DJ’s compromised hearing until it is cleared – either by syringing, or by an ENT Specialist picking it out bit by bit……….) Meantime, we now have a fair chance of DJ hearing SOMETHING – though no guarantee of him either listening or responding……

So – it was worth trying the church service on Thursday – all went ok – so Sunday morning was also feasible. Bless his heart, DJ managed very well indeed ….. for the service. A Very Kind Lady from the congregation cheerfully decided she would look after him so that I could sing in the choir, and they managed very well together. DJ followed the service ok, stayed awake, and seemed pleased to be present. Cup of tea after. All Well.

And then there was a wedding. Needing the choir.

This was Not Ok for DJ. …… I guess I had been too optimistic, and hoping for Too Much.

There was no way we could risk disruption to such an important occasion. So TH stayed to sing (Tenors being in Short Supply just now), and DJ and I went off and grumped in the nearby park. Not sure who’s temper tantrum won – but it was all verbal – and we both survived…

And now it is an overcast and somewhat grim Tuesday….. DJ did not sleep well thru the night – kept getting up, for no apparent reason - just wouldn’t settle. So I let him sleep on this morning. Now he’s up, breakfasted, and Stomping About In A Grump. The zimmer bangs against everything, the door handles get pulled about, the feet drag and the vocal sound effects deserve an Oscar. And, sorry – but I’m not exactly The World’s Best Nice Thing this morning.

We’ll get the S.A.D. light out after lunch and play dominoes………..

Sunday 18th May

Ah well – it was worth the try.

I have a ‘regular commitment’ on a Sunday morning, sharing part of ‘Layclerk’s’ former life. DJ was a part of that too, with the support of wonderful friends during the service. Then we had Disaster Sunday when DJ ended up in hospital having collapsed – that was a few months ago. He is a lot better now, and had his hearing aid arrived as hoped, we were going to once more attempt Plan A - The Excursion. But sans hearing, it would be a very long morning for him…...

So Plan B was next – get DJ up, breakfasted, settled with the newspaper and dozing in his chair, and TH and I would slip out for the 2.5 hours, get home ASAP and take DJ out for his lunch……..

Yesterday, when TH and I were both here all day, DJ slept…….. from 7pm Friday night, until I got him up for his breakfast at 11.40am Saturday, with just brief ‘ups’ at 10.20pm, 5am, 7am…… he then slept in his chair as often as my back was turned, getting increasingly angry that I wouldn’t let him go to his bed…….. about 5pm we took him out on wheels to the park (no – not on rollerskates – tho there’s a certain attraction in the thought….), and he had a bit of a walk as well – not very willingly, I’m afraid, but ‘Taking Exercise’ is An Important Requirement. So we managed to prolong ‘up’ until about 6.15pm. Even – just – managed to achieve the minimum of 2 litres intake required for the day (always more difficult at a w/e). So at last to his bed …… another good night (especially for us) re just up at 11.30pm and settled quickly….. and Plan B seemed like a real possibility……..

No chance.

The proverbial ‘cat on hot bricks’ would not have rated even close at 9.15am when we needed to leave. So – Plan C - TH left on his own. Again. I should be used to this sort of personal disappointment by now. Getting out on a Sunday is one of my Support Activities. Hasn’t been possible several times recently. Maybe ‘Hence The Blog’.

That this level of activity and restlessness usually links with DJ’s WC needs is usually of little comfort – his awareness and control of such is decreasing too. Part of his care needs. And so it was today. About 10mins after TH left – and now he’s dozing and dreaming – and looking for the ball at his feet that he’s convinced I threw just now………

Thank God for the Sunshine. It helps. Enormously. Have a Nice Day.