The First Eggs.........

As you know from a recent blogpost, Eeny and Meeny took up residence on Saturday 5th July, fluffed up their feathers and now rule the roost. Eeny hunkered down and presented us with our first 2 eggs over yesterday and today. Small. Brown. Perfectly formed. Exquisite even. Miraculous gifts. One each for TH and ChickPea by the end of this afternoon.

You can imagine the dilemma of How To Eat Them !

‘Boiled’ was the final decision………..

Now ChickPea last boiled an egg about 20 years ago…… since then she got married, and gained half shares in an egg timer. She had always wanted an egg timer. One of those elegant glass creations of two conjoined sealed bulbs with fine sand enclosed therein. Designed to Ensure A Perfectly Boiled Egg. And here, at long last, was the opportunity to test it out. There was Discussion, Agreement and then Implementation. .....

As TH opened his egg, it rapidly became evident that it was Underdone. But as the shells were both open, a few moments in the microwave appeared appropriate to complete the cooking. TH manged this aspect of the Undertaking. Admirably. All Was Well.

ChickPea and TH sat down to eat…….. the spoons were poised…………

BANG !

ChickPea’s egg EGGSPLODED ! Myriad tiny specks of thoroughly cooked yolk absolutely covered her face, hair, polo shirt, the sofa, TH…….. it even reached the window and the ceiling ! (Mr Mutt responded valiantly when called upon to help out - so got his share of the feast too... )

Aye. A Most Memorable Egg – and an Eggstrordinary Eggsperience !

Kenny's Gauntlet.........

“So, will this same sex relationship between the chooks be recognised and blessed by the Church?” Methinks I discern within this recent comment arising out of the last blogpost a gauntlet flung down before us............

(Consults The Dictionary : "Church - the collective body of all Christians" )

So – us – us wot identify ourselves as ‘Christians’ by alignment with our understanding of Christ Himself and Holy Teachings - WE could recognize, affirm and bless………… but WILL we ?

....or DO some of us already ? (Is the Church already in dissention on this matter ?)

And is the question restricted to ‘same sex relationship’ ? (Chooks or not)

Is the question perhaps more extensive - about the celebration and affirmation of mutuality ?

(I kinda like this word – it’s a new word to me, but if my understanding is correct, a long cherished concept).

The Dictionary Again: “Mutual – experienced or expressed by each of two or more people about the other; reciprocal ; ……common to or shared by both”. I note that Kelvin’s use of the word seems to embrace a positive affirmation, acceptance and validation of each for the other as well. And this seems to me to get to the very heart of relationship (small ‘r’ intended ) – this is not just about marriage, or committed partnerships, but about all positive, effective, validatory, affirmative relationships…….. I include those more often termed ‘friendship’. Maybe ‘working relationships’ as well. And it perhaps overspills too into everyday life….

If even every passing verbal contact is a simple relationship, and I can invest each and every such contact with an understanding of affirmation, acceptance and validation – what effect could just I achieve…… ? And if the wider Church Universal would consider and practice this – THEN what effect could be achieved ? (Do you ever make real bread ? – yeast and ‘leavening’ came to mind, and the Church’s Given Mission Statement to be leaven in the dough/the world…..)

Religion and Faith start having some sort of a reason – a purpose - now.

If even the very stones of our temporal church buildings accept and rely on the validity of each other, and have stood firm over the years, accepting and transcending the current dissents and disagreements of The Time, surely Holy common sense can teach us /The Church today Tolerance and Acceptance – even tho Agreement may decline to join the party ? Our supposedly esteemed Church leaders could maybe sit quietly and Learn Basics at the feet of The Christ – The One who would, and did, tear down and rebuild ‘the stones of the temple’ in three days as I recall…….

What an exciting prospect for the Lambeth Conference……..

That Holy common sense might prevail imparts Hope…… and if, perchance, Holy common sense did prevail in the extended church it would be Miraculous Indeed…… but it might just need a bit more Love than The Church Temporal is actually willing to acknowledge/accept/practice…….

What do YOU think ?

Of Chooks..... and Church....

Yesterday the chooks arrived. Well, were collected from Jedburgh, and transported back in a quizzical box. With Occasional Noises and Sporadic Pecks. (‘Pecks’ of the beak variety – none of that ‘gym’ and 'effort' nonsense here……)

It was dull and overcast when TH and ChickPea identified The Two Concerned from amongst their sistren (‘brethren’ not being present as they don’t lay eggs….). By the time they reached their new home, the heavens were Precipitating Wet Stuff, so the chooks snuggled down, battened down the hatches, and hoped for Sunshine.

Well, maybe they didn’t get sunshine, but there have been Moments Of Dry today. So ‘Eena’ and ‘Meena’ have discovered Grass, and Sky, and things To Walk Over, and lots of new Things To Eat. And Wind. (Ruffles the petticoats, but is ok).

And they gave us an egg !

While they were busy about All That, closely guarded by TH and Mr Mutt, ChickPea was doing some Catching Up With Herself, kindly supported by Others.

And there was a wee bit of ‘Episcopalianism’ involved too. You’ll have been hearing about ‘General Synod’ (happening Now), and ‘Lambeth Conference’ (happening Soon) in England. National Newspapers are making great sport. Easy for us Piskies to sit back on the sidelines and gawp at much of this. You know how families tend to be……. And need a bit of a reminder, and Help To Reflect.

We got a most thought-provoking sermon this morning. Find it at www.thurible.net - I do recommend a visit if you are willing to engage in a Little Reflection, Thought And Consideration……… with perhaps a willingness to Recognize The Struggles from Another Perspective.

Is To Be Expected.........

We had expected Life To Be Different Without DJ. But hadn’t expected these overwhelming feelings of grief and loss, and the complete and utter dis-order of Life Turned Upside-Down……..

We all slipped quite gently into living together, several years ago. DJ was getting more lonely in his Northern Town about 400 miles away from TH and ChickPea. He enjoyed his holidays down to visit them. Truth be told, he wasn’t really feeding himself so well on his own, and he was getting a bit scared living alone. For TH and ChickPea there was little Impact On Life Here initially. DJ was independent and self-caring, ate with them, sat with them, watched TV with them, conversed a little. Didn’t want to go out much, but enjoyed coming along to church and sitting away up the back while his son and daughter-in-law sang with the choir towards the sharp end. Life was ok. A bit tight for space, maybe, because a 2-bedroomed house with too much clutter doesn’t allow much room for manoeuvre. But we got by…..

As changes crept in, so Life Accommodated. When DJ stopped bothering to eat on his own, the Support Team started to visit. When he got lonely on his own all day, he started going to a Day Centre. The Space Factor was dealt with by a purpose-built bedroom with an ensuite wetfloor shower room. When he forgot it was night time, he had a notice by his bed to remind him. Life accommodated so gently to start with we hardly noticed. The downhill slope was so very gradual, then.

When he developed the need for 24-hr care in September 2006, ChickPea stopped working to keep him company. She thought DJ would continue at home for at least 4-5 years yet......

ChickPea looks back now, and can hardly believe that the recent precipice was so hidden from sight. This crash was not expected yet. Sudden unforeseen loss of life maybe, a kind and gentle visit from the Grim Reaper in the depths of a night…… but not this catastrophic loss of sleeping and ‘domino-effect’ health deterioration. ChickPea had hoped we could continue until at least the end of the summer months. All kind of ‘civilized’ and kind of ‘manageable’. If only…... but some things you cannot control…….

DJ appears as well as can be expected, really. Residential Homes have the security of warmth, company, routine, absolutely and completely predictable mealtimes. Not too much unpredictability. He has been quite settled when ChickPea has visited this week. Calm, not Anxious or Fretful (these latter 2 Fearfuls had become regular companions for DJ here at home). Talking a little, seeming to accept honest answers to questions, managing to play dominoes with a little assistance. And he is clean, quite tidy, cared for. A few nights of falls and not sleeping, but that is as it has been recently. More than six weeks without full sleep wasn't going to be survivable for any of us - the writing was appearing on the wall, even if we didn't want to read it. The staff are great – all seem kind, relaxed, friendly, concerned. Willing to talk a little – but not too much – getting on with their jobs as necessary. There’s a good atmosphere. Helps ChickPea’s head to cope, even if her heart and emotions are totally screwed up just now. Is To Be Expected, I guess……….

Friday 4th July 2008

Happy American Independence Day !

A notable day for the ChickPea family – because the henhouse and run have arrived ! At Last ! All 5 (big) boxes of it. All now lurking in the conservatory (rainclouds hovering around, and wet cardboard really doesn’t appeal……), awaiting The Bread-Winner's Return - then we’ll get tore into assemblage, and find out if all the bits have arrived ok………..

But 2 months later than first anticipated, so DJ misses out from our growing family, which is sad. Part of the original intention was for therapy – for DJ to have something soft and alive to hold and cuddle (Mr Mutt proving not to consider this an appropriate duty) – but as we’ve found, these 2 months have brought such changes………

Maybe the Feathered Females – 2 due to be collected tomorrow, another 2 to join them when we can – will prove to be good therapy for TH and Chickpea, re-organizing and re-aligning their lives without DJ under the same roof.

Hen-parties imminent………….

" 4 and 6 words"

Yes – ChickPea remembers she made a promise. At that time, the words which collected together to describe where she was at were “rested, balanced(ish), trusting, pensive…….”. Basically, ok.

Since then TH and ChickPea have been having to face the stark current realities of our life, and recognizing the minefield which has to be traversed. Realistically, for DJ’s care, there is no other choice. And reluctantly, very reluctantly and very sadly, TH and ChickPea are taking the first steps for him into the minefield……..

Now it has to be 6 words, and these have to be “very sad, utterly realistic, very many tears……….”.

You can see or guess where we’re at. ……….

Weighty Matters

DJ is no lightweight (The Falls Prevention Team weighed him about 6 months ago and pronounced him too heavy – but, honestly, is it really appropriate to put a 95 year old on a weight-loss diet ? He always loses weight whenever he is in Respite anyway, like 4 holes-worth of his trouser belt - so it was reassuring to think that with a wee bit extra of him there might be something of him left to get home after such ‘breaks’ away).

But as you have gathered from previous postings, he’s been falling a lot over the last few weeks. Like 2-3 times every night. Getting him up off the floor at 2am is not easy. But it’s not just the weight factor. He increasingly does the exact opposite of what you have asked him to do, or otherwise does the most unhelpful thing you can think of. Now we KNOW this isn’t intentional – that it is yet another aspect of his dementia - but at 2am in the morning it just made the whole situation so very much more difficult…….

The last few nights before he went into Respite were essentially ‘good nights’. Only had to scrape him off the floor twice between 9pm and 7am……. Somehow he has evaded severe injury….. Somehow, so have we…. Though TH has an almost permanently bad back, and despite ChickPea’s back easing off when she stopped working for the NHS, there have been twinges…… and now, with DJ still away in extended Respite, her back is being very troublesome indeed…….

Meantime, back to the main topic. ChickPea herself would very much like to Whittle Weight Off Own Waist. (what waist…?..). We are gradually managing it with Mr Mutt, who became decidedly podgy for a while – and he is now bouncing much more often when he’s out for his constitutionals. (See him this morning – WOW !) ChickPea had hoped the regular exercise would do it for her too – but no…………. Meantime PK has proven that weight loss is possible and done an incredibly good job in trimming down. Looks great and seems to have settled now into his new shape (tho not sure if he’s bouncing like Mr Mutt). Quite Inspirational. Had hoped it might be a ‘catching’ thing…….. but no sign of it so far……….

In ChickPea’s teens/twenties/even thirties she had absolutely NO difficulties with ‘overweight’ or even 'minor flab'. Now it just won’t budge.

Any handy hints/ top tips ?